Assemble-It-Yourself 'Zombie Proof' Log Cabins For Sale

October 17, 2014

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This is Tiger Log Cabin's £70,000 (~$113,000) Zombie Fortification Cabin (ZFC-1). That cost is just for the materials though, you have to assemble it yourself though or pay another £13,000 (~$21,000) for them to come do it for you. I suggest letting them do it though. You try putting it together yourself and that shit's probably gonna get stormed by zombies easier than the little pig that built his house out of cereal boxes.

The ZFC-1 comprises of three sections, all of which are independent from each other with two lockable doors securing each building. This means for a zombie to breach the main large section they would have to somehow breach three very securely locked doors - which even your most advance lock picker would struggle to compromise. One of the smaller buildings is a garage with secure roller shutter doors - still large enough to secure a military vehicle or getaway car. The other building comes with a built in storage unit for food to help you last the duration of the apocalypse. There is also a great place to store any other weapons you require to keep the undead at bay. The third larger building at the back has two floors (containing a bedroom, a kitchen, a living room and even a gym) as well as an upper deck to give you a 360 degree vantage point with smart slots in the decking wall to allow you to shoot at intruders in the surrounding area. In the middle of the three buildings protected by walls around the outside and a mesh roof is a small garden to allow you some outdoor time and to plant and grow vegetables.

You know what the major flaw with this thing is? Actually, a couple things: 1) there are windows to break if zombies manage to infiltrate the garden, and windows are easier to break than walls. 2) there are doors. Zombies might not be that smart, but they do recognize something that looks different. Doors should blend in with the rest of exterior. 3) It's wood. Wood is flammable. It would only take one flaming zombie to come knocking to ruin your whole day. And trust me, zombies do catch fire -- I've killed enough in video games to know that. Speaking of, what percentage of people do you think have absolutely zero concept of zombie preparedness minus what they've picked up from video games and movies? My guess is at LEAST 85%. Those people aren't going to last long. Check it: you and a small group of survivors are running from a horde of zombies, what do you do? "Blow another survivor's leg off and leave them to the zombies to buy yourself enough time to escape." Exactly. You know, you might just survive a while after all. Just not in my group, because I don't want anybody else trying to use my own survival tactics against me.

Keep going for a bunch more shots.

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Thanks to Tom, who works for the company and should probably come build me a sweet clubhouse in the backyard.

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