Woman Has Surgery To Get A Third 'Total Recall' Breast

September 22, 2014


Cool shower curtain, did they perform the surgery in your bathtub or what?

Florida native (didn't see that coming) entertainer Jasmine Tridevil (because apparently tits are devils) allegedly underwent plastic surgery to have a third breast added between her existing breasts, with the hopes of scoring a reality television show and not five extra minutes on stage at Bob's Boobie Bungalow like I expected. Dare to dream, Jasmine. No word where she managed to find a three-tit bikini top.

Tampa resident Tridevil, who recently celebrated her 21st birthday, says her parents have not taken the news of her transformation well.

She said: "My mum ran out of the door. She won't talk to me. She won't let my sister talk to me. My dad... he really isn't happy. He is kind of ashamed of me but he accepted it."

Tridevil says the surgery cost $20,000 and that included a "nipple" implant. She claims to have had an areole tattooed around the nipple after the surgery.

God willing, the extra breast is actually a convincing prosthetic and not real. Besides, what kind of doctor is willing to give a woman a third breast anyways? Not one that should still have a medical license, that's for sure. A nipple implant? WHERE DID THE EXTRA NIPPLE COME FROM? I have so many questions. Namely...Psst, doc -- what do you say, can I get a couple extra penises above and below my existing one? The freakshow said I was too weak to be the new strongman and I'm looking for an in.

Keep going for a couple more shots and a sexy dance video...if you can call it that.



Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, mango, Allyson, Tom, Alex, Blackntan, Josh and Thaylor H, at least half of which agreed topless pics will be necessary for proper evaluation.

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