Wait, What?: Armpit Fire Leads To Car Crash, Three Injured

September 18, 2014


Apparently to give Florida a break for a day, some jackass teen in Idaho set his friend's armpit hair on fire which they were driving, leading to a crash and three injuries. Idaho: where setting your driver on fire sounds like a good idea.

The crash happened at 5:30 a.m. on Columbia Road between Meridian and Linder roads. Eighteen-year-old Tristan Myers was driving when his front-seat passenger, a 16-year-old boy, set Myers' armpit hair on fire. The driver lost control of the Ford Bronco, rolling the vehicle.

Two girls in the backseat, ages 15 and 16, were thrown from the vehicle. Myers, his front-seat passenger, and a 17-year-old boy remained in the vehicle. None of the teens were wearing seatbelts, deputies say.

Three of the teenagers were taken to a local hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Myers first said he had swerved to avoid an animal in the road, but the truth emerged after deputies talked to all the teens.

Several things: 1) WEAR YOUR F***ING SEATBELTS. 2) Never get in a car with a jackass with a lighter. 3) But if you do, don't wear a tank top. 4) But really, try to avoid getting in cars with jackasses in general. 4) Idaho sounds like a real blast. 5) Idaho produced 14.2-billion pounds of potatoes last year. 6) The average American eats approximately 126 pounds of potatoes a year! 7) Potatoes are really earth's testicles. 8) Just kidding, that's the moon. 9) Not sure what happened to the other one.

Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who is so evil he's never NOT trying to set his driver on fire, even on the bus.

  • westmclarenmerc

    "some jackass teen in Idaho set his friend's armpit hair on fire which they were driving"
    I sure that the crash is the story here, but shouldn't the story be about how the fuck they were able to drive armpit hair? I think you meant to post this GW:
    "some jackass teen in Idaho set his friend's armpit hair on fire while they were driving"

  • shashi

    PSA: What will you do the next time they suggest armpit bongs? Not for me thanks, i'm driving!

  • Bubbubsky

    Darwin wins again.

  • Bling Nye


    Darwin awards are for removing oneself from the gene pool entirely by death or by sterilization since the point is you've contributed to human evolution by removing your dumb ass from the gene pool.

    No one died in this wreck, therefore, all are disqualified. Although the guy with the lighter gets honorable mention.

  • Bubbubsky

    I didn't write "Darwin Awards." I wrote "Darwin wins again." These idjits are just more proof that we're monkeys with less body hair.

  • S.M. Archer

    You made a mistake. 3) Dudes don't wear tank tops outside the trailer park. 3.5) Dudes should never wear tank tops.

    But, thank you Idaho for taking some of the attention away from Florida. It's been a bad last forever down here.

  • stuffsticks

    Best Grammar nazi response ever.. many Dudes used

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