This Is Why You're Fat: A Pizza With French Fry Dough

September 12, 2014

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Because it's important for some people to be able to get fat as quickly as possible, this is the recipe for a pizza with a crust made out of french fries. I'd eat it. I'd eat it with ketchup and ranch. *jiggling belly* Damn yeah I would. And still have ice cream for dessert.

I've see many variations of the french fry pizza combo, but none that actually looked like a pizza. Using cheese as a glue to hold the fries together I was able to create a crust and build a pizza on top of it.


As soon as French fries are cool to the touch line a 12" skillet or a pizza pan with the French Fries. Using the sides of the skillet or the edge of the pizza pan as a guide make a circular crust with the fries in a single layer. Fill in and holes with additional fries. Don't be afraid to break the fries into smaller pieces to fill in the gaps. A nice even layer of fries is what you are looking for.

Take 1 cup of the shredded mozzarella and sprinkle in an even layer across the French fries. The cheese will act as glue, keeping your "crust" together. So be liberal with the cheese and make sure there is some covering the entire pizza in a single layer and in all the nooks and crannies. Place in 400 degree F oven for 5 minutes.

I dunno, sounds like a lot of work. I usually just order pizza online and wait for it to get here. But sometimes I pass out before it comes and don't wake up when they call and knock on the door. That's why I've been blackballed from all the good pizza shops and can only order Domino's now. Don't get me wrong, I like Domino's, I just don't like getting up in the middle of the night wondering if that was a fart that woke me up or if I just shit the bed.

Thanks to TomTom, who has two first names for a first name.

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