There Can Be Only One: Dyson's New Roomba Competitor

September 5, 2014


Sucking specialist Dyson has just announced the Dyson 360 Eye, a robotic vacuum similar to a Roomba but allegedly much, much more advanced, and super suckier. It uses a 360-degree vision system to pick reference points in the environment and triangulate its location so it knows where it's been and where it needs to go to systematically vacuum rooms in 3-meter grids. Alternatively, spend the sixty seconds it takes to vacuum a room by hand like I do. Dyson hasn't announced a price yet, but I suspect it's gonna be around $1,000. For reference, that's $1,000 too much to spend on a robotic vacuum cleaner. Unless you're buying it as a status symbol, in which case you should really take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror. Then punch the mirror because you hate what you see. Was it your roommate behind you taking a dump with the door open? That happens to me all the time. MAKES ME SO ANGRY.

Keep going for two videos about the vacuum cleaner in case you've really got nothing better to do but watch videos about vacuum cleaners.

Thanks to Brion and T McDonald, who still use brooms and dustpans. Oldschool as shit!

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