Starbucks' New Fall Coffee Drink That Taste Like Guinness

September 23, 2014

starbucks-beer-drink.jpg

Because you can only drink so many Pumpkin Spice Lattes a day, Starbucks is now testing Dark Barrel Latte, a coffee drink designed to mimic the taste of Guinness. Unfortunately, the drink contains zero alcohol, making it much more lucrative to go to your local pub and order a real Guinness for the same price, half the calories, and infinitely more fun. Who knows, maybe you'll even make a friend and shoot darts together. Will that friend turn out to be a psychopath and try to stab you with a dart? It's happened to me before! Several times.

Thanks to asdfasdf, who only plays electronic darts with the plastic tips due to safety concerns.

  • ODwanKenObi

    Guinness already tastes like coffee. Coffee tasting like Guinness? Is this some kind of twilight zone?

  • Bling Nye

    "Dark Barrel Sauce"

    AKA

    ....semen...

    SRSLY

    *facepalm*

  • I live in Jacksonville, FL, one of the test markets for this unholy union of beer and coffee, and public opinion is definitely divided according to my unofficial barista poll - some love it, some hate it. I don't know which side I fall on, but I keep ordering the damn thing 'cause it's so different. It tastes like a chocolate banana. And a beer. Chocolate banana beer?

  • S.M. Archer

    A whole bunch of nope. Coffee shouldn't taste like beer, it should taste like "wake me up juice" with a splash of "please God let today be over already."

  • Definitely doesn't taste AT ALL like coffee. They have forgone the taste of "Fresh Ground Good Stuff" for "Weird Shit You Try Right Before Last Call."

  • V_Ferg

    Who drinks non alcoholic beer? Old men who cant drink actual beer anymore, that's it. There is no way this drink is enjoyable if it really does taste like a beer, which I highly doubt. I bet it taste like sugar.
    One thing I had that was good was a homebrewed coffee stout using starbucks brand coffee beans and that was actually dam good. Now that's what starbucks should really be making.

  • Brett R

    What is the L.A.T.T.E process?

  • PuterMonkey

    It’s called the LATTE method for dealing with customer problems. LATTE is simply an acronym for:
    Listen completely to the customer.
    Acknowledge the problem.
    Take action to resolve the problem.
    Thank the customer for bringing the situation to your attention.
    Encourage the customer to return.

  • Andrew Newton

    ZIMA 2.0! ALL of the chest-hair-producing taste, ZERO of the bad-decision-making alcohol.!

  • Jessica Davis

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  • S.M. Archer

    a Buick? Really Jessica?

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