Somebody Call The Ninja Turtles: Cannabis Infused Pizza Now Available From Dispensaries In California

September 25, 2014


In news that's sure to give Michelangelo a raging green boner (PROTIP: try not to look at it), Stoned Oven Gourmet Pizza in Los Angeles is now selling cannabis infused frozen pizzas through dispensaries (although people have been making weed pizzas themselves forever). Cool, but what are supposed to eat AFTER it gets you high and you're hungry again? SPOILER: Seconds.

Each [$10] six-inch personal pizza contains 250 mg of ethanol-extracted THC concentrate from an indica-dominant hybrid strain. The concentrate is made in Mendocino by an extraction company called The Earth's Harmony Essentials.

"Everyone loves pizza," [owner Henry Mark] says. He spent four months developing the recipes for his 5-Star Cheese, OG Pepperoni and Very Margarita Jane pizzas with a chef from the Soho House who is no longer involved in the project.

Mark's advice is to eat a quarter of his pizza, drink some water, wait 30 minutes and then decide whether to try some more.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Cold cannabis pizza for breakfast?" Exactly -- the ol' wake and no-bake. Then we'll go out for brunch and bottomless mimosas. Afterwards, we'll hit the beach or arcade. On your deathbed, you will look back on that Saturday as the best day of your life.

Thanks to PYY, who wisely informed me any size pizza can be a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself. Amen to that.

  • afterooster

    why are there toothpicks in the pizzas?

  • Guest

    do you not even read the unlabeld things I've been sending you?I got that to you a week ago

  • Andrew Newton

    "We want to be able to get a deal with hospitals," Mark says. "We can [treat] cancer with pizzas!"

    Yes, because a steady diet of pizza - as opposed to vaporizers, oils and other healthy alternatives to pizza - can't be used to "treat" cancer. PROTIP: Weed can be used to help treat the side affects of cancer and cancer treatment, but it is not a treatment to cancer in and of itself.

    "You cannot taste one bit of marijuana in there. This pizza is really dangerous, because you can trick anyone!"


    As a regular weed user, I'm stuck in a self-loathing purgatory where I will, for eternity, simultaneously hate weed users and those who oppose weed use.

  • Dinosaur Rex

    Really? I don't give a shit about other weed users, actually, I'd be happier if there were more weed users willing to share their weed.

  • Andrew Newton

    Ha! This isn't free pizza they're making and just giving away. The fucking pun is bad enough to deserve a punch in the face.

  • Guest

    screw you recreational marajuana cookies cure cancer and cause the diabitis....which they then cure.

  • Sarah Wilson

    This has been a thing for awhile....

  • Has it?
    First time I'd heard of it.

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