Squeeeeeak: App For Determining How Bad What You're Eating Is Going To Make You Fart

September 11, 2014

fart-app.jpg

Fart Code is a free app that allows you to scan barcodes and determine how bad the ingredients in what you're about to eat are going to make you bust awful, brain-cell killing farts. You just scan a code and it brings up a list of ingredients that are known toot-producers, and how serious that flatulence might be. SPOILER: Deadly.

If that's not enough to for you, Fart Code also mimics the sound of the fart, and vibrates to match the effect said fart would have on your digestive system. For example, we scanned a bottle of hickory-flavored barbecue sauce and were surprised to get a "Gross" fart rating, with the culprit ingredient being fructose.

Of course, everybody is different. I could eat Taco Bell for breakfast, lunch and dinner (and have before) and not hear a single note from the wind section of my ass orchestra. Then I eat ONE BITE of Ben & Jerry's and produce the kind of fart that you know is going to hurt when it finally dries in your underwear. "Maybe you're lactose intolerant." MAYBE YOU'RE NOT A DOCTOR.

Thanks again to E V I L A R E S, who is so evil he normally takes the stairs but will take the elevator if there are other people riding just to burn their nostrils.

  • MustacheHam

    The design of this really brings me back to the layout of magazine & toys in the 90's.
    As for the app., it may be useful to help prevent embarrass incidents in meetings or family gatherings.

  • Kaizer Chief

    Butter contains basically zero lactose, so it's not likely to make anyone fart. Dammit to hell.

  • mz001

    Fart Apps - The Next Generation

  • zin

    Does anyone else start farting like 5 minutes after their meals?

  • Carolyn Williams

    Peyton. even though Billy`s remark is unimaginable, last week I got a brand new Mercedes after making $6994 this-last/4 weeks and would you believe, $10 thousand last-munth. this is actually the most-comfortable work I have ever had. I started this 10-months ago and right away began to make at least $79, per hour. I use the details on this web-site,.. http://CashConvertrate2014linesJ9TWq0L...

  • Ryan

    Nice boobs! I'll buy whatever it is you're selling.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post