Medical Student Masturbates To Death At Sperm Bank

September 16, 2014


23-year old medical student Zheng Gang died of a heart attack while trying to produce a sperm sample at China's Wuhan University. Apparently it was Zheng's fourth donation in just over a week., that's very generous donating. Some real philanthropy. Donating blood that often will probably kill you too. No word how many donations he wasted at home during the same time, but my guess is in the thousands.

Worried workers had accessed his private booth when they realised he had spent two hours inside.

It was his fourth visit in just over a week and he had reportedly been using sexy magazines to help him.

The incident was revealed after Mr Gang's family took the sperm bank to court claiming they were responsible for his death in January 2011.

The court dismissed the action saying Zheng was mature enough to make his own decisions.

First of all, yes, a 23-year old is old enough to make his own decisions and you can't very well sue a sperm bank for his death. You might as well try to sue the model in the 'sexy magazine' he was looking at. Your titties killed my son! Also, nobody wants to die with their penis in their hand. Even worse than dying with your penis in your hand? Dying with three penises in your hands because those other dudes are probably gonna be FREAKING OUT.

Thanks to whoever sent me this whose email I couldn't fine again, who's inspired me to take it easy with my wiener next time.

  • Vivian Li

    He likely died by a heart attack or a drug overdose or something. Excessive masturbation can't kill you; that's nonsense.

  • Eat Your Oatmeal

    They pay well. It's something like $110 US/per sample. I have a towel in my closet worth nearly $4000.

  • BeastmanAIDS

    What caused him to actually die though? Did he have some sort of arrhythmia that was exacerbated by any kind of exercise or strain? Was he enormously unhealthy? Was he smoking meth and going on a fapping rampage?
    Any normal male can basically go at it as much as he wants until his dick goes raw - multiple times per day, every day of the week.

  • o0THX11380o


  • mefu

    hey guys, let's just all agree "donating" 4 times a week is nothing to any healthy male. but i never really donated so I'm not sure, is this process any different from "classical masturbation"? because now I'm scared.

  • Andrew Newton

    I've never before either, but I would guess (assuming by a doctor's office visit), it would go something like this

    1.) Show up
    2.) Fill out paper work
    3.) wait
    4.) make deposit
    5.) literally profit of somewhere around $50 - $150 range.

  • mefu

    ok, so it's nothing like classical masturbation. i live in Poland and classical doctor's office visit never ends with #5, it ends on really long #3.

  • Andrew Newton

    I would be dead 40085^2499457 times over.

    Also, there are at least 10 days in my life time where I would be dead 6 times over in one day at this rate....

  • The title made me think he was looking at pics of dead bodies...

  • Archer

    Touching himself to pictures of skeletons in black robes.

  • asdfadfs

    dafuq? anybody else see my post disappear? does it show in your disqus replies notifications?(basically said "she can be hot when depicted with the skin on and linked the same death disqus_k2qwhatever did, and "sometimes with the skin off too" with deadpool's girl

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    4 times in a week? Any teenager know that 4 times in a day is nothing!

  • just1nw

    If jackin' it four times a week is a death sentence then I (along with most of the male population) should be dead many times over.

  • S.M. Archer

    The only adults in the world would be female. Every male would be dead by 15. Hey, there you go ladies, your chance to rule the world.

  • SilentNukee

    Uh, girls masturbate too. My record is probably like 10 in a day. We're also ready to go right after we're done again. Just sayin'

  • S.M. Archer

    This might not say much about myself, but I can guarantee I broke his "one week heart attack" record in about a day once. 17, no car, and nothing to do. Don't judge me. So what i am trying to say is, how effing out of shape was this dude?

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