Autistic Boy Connects With Guardians Of The Galaxy Hero

September 3, 2014


If you haven't already seen it plastered all over your Facebook feed, this is the sweet story of a boy's autistic brother who connects with Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy because neither one understands metaphors. Hey -- metaphors are stupid anyways. Similes are BEARABLE, like steamed vegetables. See what I did there? Man, I wish there was a superhero I could relate to. I guess I'd have to say I'm most similar to Batman. "Because you're an orphan?" No, because neither one of us actually has any superpowers.

Thanks to jeff, Ashley and BT, who agree Guardians of the Galaxy is the tits.

  • Brandon

    I'm on the spectrum myself, but extremely high functioning [Asperger's] and I had a similar thought watching the movie. I even leaned over to my friend after the metaphor line and said, "He has Asperger's."

  • Kirk12

    I suffer from Asperger's Syndrome and I hated Guardians of the Galaxy. The movie piled on character after character, subplot after subplot, to hide the fact that the actual plot amounted to people tossing a magic 8-ball back and forth. The opening scene did not set the tone at all. The movie is build-up, build-up for something that never comes. The main character has nothing that allowed me to relate to him except that he likes bad songs from the 70s that should have been burned in a fire, and he is a victim of the put-a-dime-in-your-tragic-backstory machine.

    I hated the cinematography, I hated the over the top editing, I hated the ultra-fast pace, hated the fact next to nothing made sense, hated hated hated everything about the film including the fact that it lasted 2 hours excluding the fact that it ENDED after 2 hours.

    My mind's specific reaction to that scene was, "Oh, so he's Amelia Bedelia. I remember reading Amelia Bedelia when I was 5, that was fun. It's a shame I'm not 5 anymore yet this movie is apparently written for 5-year-olds. So why is it rated PG-13 and why are all these people around me who are not 5 enjoying it so much? And how is it so much different from the ice puns in Batman & Robin? This movie sucks. It sucks so hard it's not funny."

    I'm not belittling people who did like it, that was just my mind's immediate reaction and I have to be honest in my opinion.

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  • Brock

    So no one has taken a step back to see that this entire post is a metaphor about metaphors? It is a joke, and no one gets it.

  • event

    Great story, if it's true.

  • Proteon

    Feels kinda markety

  • Aaes Auth


  • Sigh.

    If only the hero for autistic people, who was unable to use or understand metaphors, hadn't somehow decided to call a woman who had not exchanged sex acts for money a whore.

  • Shaun9lives

    I found that line kind of odd too. It didn't seem to fit. I wonder if it was a reference to a scene that didn't make the final cut?

  • ODwanKenObi

    He could also have literally thought she was because that's what she was called by someone else. He may have taken it as fact.

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