Somehow I Made It: Happy Birthday To Me

August 12, 2014


So today's my birthday. It's my 640th year on this planet as an immortal warlock. I actually wrote all these articles yesterday so I could go out and celebrate my birthday at midnight, so, honestly, there's no telling where I am right now. Was there a guy sleeping on your couch this morning? That could have been me. There's also the possibility I'm in a holding cell at the police station (send a cake with a file inside, STAT). More than likely though I'm asleep on the bathroom floor. So cold, so good. Hopefully I didn't leave the shower running this time. I should return after I'm up, but if not just pretend Santa texted me and told me you haven't been good enough to deserve it. You need to start acting right if you want anything but a stocking full of reindeer shit for Christmas. Another year down -- damn, I need to start doing something with my life. "Like what?" I'm leaning towards sleeping more. Happy birthday to me, I'll assume your gift will just be arriving a day or two late because you always wait till the last minute like someone who only KIND OF cares. *taking deep breath to blow out candles* I wish you could learn to love me.

  • Colonal Korn


    This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

    This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Jake has his ultimate elimination fight with Ryan McCarthy.

    Happy "birthday" wizzard! You have really honestly made so many people (including myself, a big fan from the start!) happy because of the nonstop original online entertainment you have shared with the world :)

    You're awesome! Stay that way!
    Happy Birthday!

  • GutterHunk

    Happy belated, you've kept me the most up to date on nerd news since '08. I'll take you on a train like a real old fashioned hobo for your birthday next year (not a joke)

  • darabe


  • Cimber

    Happy birphday

  • Rix Trix

    Happy Birthday GW!

  • Skippy

    Happy happy birthday GW :D
    Thank you for all your posts everyday, makes me laugh a lot

  • Annette Deanna

    Happy belated Birthday!!!!

  • The Fool

    Happy birthday, and I hope you grace us all with another 640 years.

  • Grevans

    For Shame! Robin died that day.

  • Andrew Rogers

    Happy birthday! I've been reading daily for yeeeaaaars, my favourite blog on the web.

  • Michael Vieira

    Happy Birthday, 8/12 is my Bday too...I think we went over this last year....


    Happy birthday, where's my present.

  • BeastmanAIDS

    Happy Birthday GW I hope you enjoyed your sexy dinosaur picture - you can print it off and add it to the collection in the shoebox under your bed.

  • Xandraelle

    happy birthday

  • zin

    Reindeer shit... honestly I'm curious, it may even be preferable to Game of Thrones & Disney Princesses & OH what the hell.
    Happy Bday GW, wishing you the best, hope your master treats you right.

  • Cody

    woooaaAAAAHHHHH OHH OH OH OHHH HO WOAHH WOAH AHHHHHHH AHAHA HA WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *YEAH!!* YEAH YEAH ALRIGHTTT YEAAAAAA YEH YEH IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY HOHHH MAN DAMNN hooo hold on a second, huhh uhhh hooo noap *wipes sweat from forehead* never mind that's all I got I'm out

  • Dinosaur Rex

    You are a Wizard Geekologie Writer.

  • James

    Happy birthday. By the way who is that guy with the beard?

  • Frédéric Purenne

    You're a virgins? YAY! I'm 30 and a wizard too! Happy birthday!

  • Tyler

    Happy Birthday GW ! This is the only blog I've ever actually cared about, 2 years as a reader now :) By a 12 pack of vodka and just go ahead and make a week of it.

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