Of Course You Did: Man Pays $350 For Lap Dance, Calls Police When It Doesn't Include Sex

August 22, 2014

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53-year old Montana resident and moron William McDaniel called the police after paying $350 for a lapdance and realizing complimentary sex was not included. For reference, that's $350 too much to pay for a Montana lapdance, sex or not.

[McDaniel] called police after paying a Sage Brush Sam's dancer $350 to perform a private lap dance. McDaniel assumed that fee included sex, and called police when the dancer refused to engage in sexual activity.


Police responded and charged McDaniel with a misdemeanor charge of soliciting prostitution.

According to KTVQ, this is not McDaniel's first run-in with the law. He has previous convictions for felony DUIs and criminal possession of illegal drugs.

Listen -- 53-years old is entirely too old to not know lap dances don't include free sex, even if they do cost $350. What is this, the first time you've been to a strip club? Or just the first time you've managed to save $350? Hell, I've spent double that on a lap dance before and the girl didn't even take off her overalls. Nebraska: never again.

Thanks to neolardo, who informed me sometimes there isn't even CHAMPAGNE in the champagne room.

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