Home Run To Happiness: The Kickball Ice Cream Maker

August 27, 2014

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This is the Kickball Ice Cream Maker available from Hammacher Schlemmer ($35). It's like the spherical plastic ice cream makers that have existed forever, except softer and kickable. Just like the head of an enemy. I'm going to kick it so f***Ing hard the ice cream compartment opens up and we wind up making dirt cream.

Simply place cream, sugar, vanilla or other flavoring into the ball's food-safe sealed compartment and ice and rock salt into a second compartment and start toe-flicking, back-heel kicking, or spinning the ball. It makes up to one pint of ice cream after only 20 minutes of play. The ice cream maker's soft rubber exterior withstands repeated kicks and rolls, and the ingredient compartment's 4" diameter opening makes it easy to scoop out churned ice cream. Weighing less than 4 lbs. and about the size of a volley ball, the unit is easy to pack and carry to vacation homes or cottages.

Did you read that? It said it's easy to pack and carry to vacation homes or cottages. That's a relief, because I was genuinely concerned it might not be easy for me to pack and carry to my cottage. You know, the one in the woods. I'm kidding, the only cottage I own is cheese, and that shit's already a week and a half past its expiration date. For the record, I will still be eating it.

Thanks to lilco, who agrees the best ice cream is kissed from the lips of a lover. Amen to that! AhOOOOga, HUBBA HUBBA!


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