Grandma?!: 2.3-Million Still Pay For AOL Internet Access

August 7, 2014


According to their recently published earnings report, 2.3-million people still pay for AOL internet access. For reference, that is 2.3-million people too many. But presumably they're all going to die soon and the problem will right itself.

...every quarter the company reports its remaining subscription service suckers, a delightful yet depressing nugget of intel. AOL took home $143 million of operating income from that division--more than the rest of the company combined did--meaning those unfortunates pay out, on average, $20.86 per month for a service that's at best redundant and at worst utterly useless. That's up over a dollar from a few years ago.

There's some good news, though; the rate of decline in subscribers appears to be strong, down about a third since the beginning of 2011.

As someone in the Gizmodo comments pointed out, there are still some places in the US where dial-up service is the only option. Those places are what most people refer to as "shitholes". We get it, you're stockpiling weapons and trying to start a militia. Luckily for you, the Anarchist Cookbook is a quick download, even on dial-up.

Thanks to BBQ, who misses the hissing and screeching of a dial-up modem connecting.

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