Good Samaritans: Guy At Burger King Buys All The Pies To Spite The Whiny Brat In Line Behind Him

August 7, 2014


A man in line at a Burger King bought all 23 pies available (links to Reddit post with more info) to spite the little jerk behind him screaming, "I want a f***ing PIE" and punching his mother. You know, because sometimes you need to parent people's kids for them. The whole worthwhile story:

So a while ago I had decided to treat myself and go to Burger King. I hadn't had the greatest of days and I had a headache coming on. It was a very long line and I was at the end of it waiting patiently. When behind me comes this woman yapping on her cellphone with a little monster of a child. This kid was out of control, screaming, punching his mother throwing around a gameboy whenever something didn't go right in the game. The mother didn't seem to pay any attention to him and his continued yelling of 'I want a F***ing PIE'. After about 5 minutes of the line with these people behind me, I had gone from a headache to a full on migraine, but nothing was going to stop me from getting those burgers. I calmly turn and ask her nicely if she can please calm or quiet her child down. Immediately she gets up in my face telling me I can't tell her nothing about raising her child and to mind my own business. I nod and turn around, shes still yelling at the back of my head when the child cries out again how he wants a pie, the mother consoles him, calling him sweety and ensuring they'll get pies for lunch because she loves him so much. Things immediately go back to the they were and I wait another 5 minutes before getting to the front of the line. It turns out it was so slow because they had 1 trainee on cash during the lunch hour rush. All I can think of is how the people behind me ruined my splurge and gave me this headache. I then decide to ruin their day. I order every pie they have left in addition to my burgers. Turned out to be 23 pies in total, I take my order and walk towards the exit. Moments later I hear the woman yelling, what do you mean you don't have any pies left, who bought them all? I turn around and see the cashier pointing me out with the woman shooting me a death glare. I stand there and pull out a pie and slowly start eating eat as I stare back at her. She starts running towards me but can't get to me because of other lineups in the food court. I turn and slowly walk away.

Wow, what a solid performance. I think I need a minute. "Wait -- are you crying?" I'm sorry, this just makes me so happy. I saw we all hit up BK tonight and buy out the pies to honor this brave soul. He also deserves a holiday named after him. I suggest BK Pie Guy Day. It can replace Presidents' Day.

Thanks to Silvermidnight and Luc, who are now convinced real-life superheroes do exist.

  • fralipoli .

    ....revenge doesn't solve anything... we can only contribute to world peace thru small gestures...

  • Elak Swindell

    Sheer awesomeness. :)

  • Ellie

    Guy is a dick

  • asddfasdf

    thats it brobro, fight fire with fire! be a childish asshole to teach the asshole child a lesson.

  • zin

    I for one support freedom to bear firearms.

  • Mister Cerberus

    It's like this gif was made just for this

  • i bet this guy steals babies their lollipops, then posts his hero story on reddit

  • GeneralDisorder

    Isn't that the whole point of stealing baby candy? So you can brag about how awesome you are?

  • Guest

    genius marketing campaign. they had to move the pies before their expiration date at the end of work day. staged the whole thing with actors. you played right into their hands you fool

  • this whole schtick is a viral campaign aiming towards pie craving fatsos who do not have children but big bucks

  • This absolutely THRILLS me!

  • Diane Webster

    You're a better person than me. I would have taken the pie, drew her attention to myself and threw them in the garbage outside the wrapper so she could not retrieve them. One question, How old was this brat?

  • Jodie

    You look to old to be acting that way.

  • Diane Webster

    Don't mess with this Sicilian. None of your business what I would do.

  • ferrisbuellersmurderspree

    What shows the story is fake: how can her line of sight be clear but her path to him obstructed? If she is as inconsiderate as he says, i dont think moving through a line up would be a big deal. Logic.

  • zoeUNltd

    Have you ever stood in line at BK ?? It makes perfect sense with the "guide" bars that funnel you through in lines PARALLEL to the counter.

  • ferrisbuellersmurderspree

    Not if shes at the front of the line, genius.

  • M'lady Batman

    This story is so fake and unrealistic that Michael Bay would make a movie out of it. Maybe we could add a few explosions behind him as he walks away with arms full of pies.

  • Ellie

    So basically something that would happen in a Clerks movie?

  • MrShredder
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