11 Years To Die: Sex Robots 'Commonplace By 2025'

August 15, 2014


Seen here hanging out with my uncle Wes the exact kind of guy I'd expect to be having sex with a robot, a synthetic sexbot poses with her owner. And now, according to a 66-page report (links to PDF) titled "AI, Robotics, and the Future of Jobs," sex robots will be commonplace by 2025. Hell, they could already be commonplace and we wouldn't even know it because who's going to admit to banging the silicone sex-bot they keep covered with a pile of dirty clothes in the back of their closet? I sure as hell wouldn't. And, for the record, I do not own a sex robot. I'd show you my closet to prove it too, I just don't want you to get the wrong idea from the all voodoo paraphernalia (but I will bring your pet back to life for a price).

The report basically consists of a bunch of experts waxing lyrical about what the world will look like in 2025 if robots and AI continue to advance at the same scary pace of the last few years. Almost every expert agreed that robots and AI will no longer be constrained to repetitive tasks on a production line, and will permeate "wide segments of daily life by 2025." The experts are almost perfectly split on whether these everyday robots will be a boon or a menace to society, though -- but more on that at the end of the story.

While the report is full of juicy sound bites from experts such as Vint Cerf, danah boyd, and David Clark, one quote by GigaOM Research's Stowe Boyd caught my eye. By 2025, according to Boyd, "Robotic sex partners will be a commonplace, although the source of scorn and division, the way that critics today bemoan selfies as an indicator of all that's wrong with the world."

So basically robots will have all our jobs, and we'll be having sex with them. Ever been a robot's sex-slave before? Well you better get used to it. Me? I ain't blowing no robot to pay my rent after it steals my job. "Then what are you gonna do?" Honestly, probably be dead by then. Good luck with your own ass though. Maybe fill it with water and hope your lover short-circuits.

Thanks to Thaylor H, who agrees whenever sex-bots are commonplace, the devil has won.

  • zatoichi

    We should stay out of Joe's Garage.

  • Guest

    did....did he die?

  • Closet Nerd

    4 days since his last post.... I think GW, got one of these new Sex Robots
    .....just sayin

  • Jetch Vargas

    Sexbot repair service will be the worst job in the world also.

  • Where is GW, by the way ?
    Uhemm...researching ?

  • Jeffery Dodds

    Lars and the Real Girl


  • Lucas Testa

    shouldn't be long after that when the protests start about how we are just using them for sex and they are not just objects or property

  • zin

    We should come up with a pre-emptive strike, figure out what their typical arguments would be & how we will defend against them. Also label them some name like "Robot Hippies" or something.

    I mean, I'm all for the rights of a robot that is clearly sentient & sapient. I'd still buy one & keep it in my dungeon & break its mind over & over again, reformatting it each time.

  • Kane Harrison

    Who would want a sex doll that looks like Chrissie Hynde?

  • yoyo

    I see this as an effective way to control the worlds exponentially growing population

  • Hayley Prychun Rodgers

    No, the people who can afford these and would buy them aren't the ones causing that population growth

  • steve holt

    I laughed so hard at this write up. Well done GW.

  • Real perverts would dig it if the sexbot looks more robolike -think asimo with a fleshlight

  • wilson

    this what the point of sexing a robot up if it looks human get me one that looks like that svedka one and ill gladly pay

  • zin

    I myself would be satisfied with a milking machine.

  • Vittorio

    There are a lot of people who are really ugly or shy or some other adjective that makes them have a hard time find a companion. These lonely people just won't be happy with just masturbating, please stop being naive. Dolls/robots are a way for these people to alleviate their instincts without making another human being's life miserable. The alternative is prostitution, which is extremely degrading for both sexes (I know this is a sort of pinkish websites, but I have to say it: lots of Western women go to the Caribbeans or Africa to have "quickies" with local young, muscular men; even if it is commonly thought that men are "always horny", probably these young boys are not that much into fat old ladies; nobody sells his/her body for passion, it just dire poverty that forces them to).

  • Looks like a "Dave"

    With my luck I'd buy one, take it to bed with me, and it will say: "Not now, I have an error code."

  • Liquorfairy

    By 2050 they will be eating our meals and passing all the nutrients to us via telepathy and by 2051 Skynet will rise

  • JeeebeZ

    This is how it starts... First then are blow-up, then "flesh like", then they can move... then partially organic... then incubators (for dem babies)... THEN!!! they just start popping out some genetically modified sub species...

  • Anan27

    By 2030 There will be robot wives/husbands and desperate humans as their lover.

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