That's Too Long: Woman Has Sex Toy Removed From Vagina After Ten Years

July 29, 2014

you-forgot-something.jpg

Picture related: looks like she forgot something.

A 38-year old Scottish woman recently had a five-inch vibrator (possibly just a dildo, but five inches seems sad for a dildo) removed from her vagina after forgetting it was in there after a drunken night of kinking ten years prior. For reference, that is 9 years, 364 days and 23 hours entirely too long to have a vibrator in your vagina.

The woman came to the Aberdeen Royal Infirmary after she had been experiencing symptoms including fatigue, incontinence and severe weight loss, and after performing an X-Ray, doctors found a five inch sex toy lodged up in her lady parts, protruding into her bladder. It was then that the woman recalled a sexual encounter from ten entire years ago in which she and a partner had been using it and couldn't remember removing it.

Listen, I'll be the first to admit I don't know anything about vaginas (in my mind they're like kangaroo pouches), but I can't help but feel like you should know if there's a five-inch sex toy still inside of you. But who knows, maybe vaginas are more like butts than I imagined (I jammed my wallet up there for safekeeping one night and forgot about it for a week).

Thanks to lilco, who agrees if you're going to leave anything in your vagina for a decade, it better give you superpowers.

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