Strip Club Cash Shooting Hand Cannon Makes It Rain Easy

July 10, 2014


You ever made it rain before? I did once. I had to sacrifice two goats and perform a sacred ritual under the full moon. It was all very messy and I regret not just trying to bribe Storm. You ever made it rain IN A STRIP CLUB? I have not. Although it would be funny to see the strippers slippy-sliding around in their super high-heels, I can't imagine all that water would be good for the light and sound systems. Nobody wants to get electrocuted just trying to see some titties. This is the $60 Cash Cannon, a gun that shoots paper money with a squeeze of the trigger. Don't have any paper money? Shoot playing cards or Burger King coupons! I'm sure the strippers will love that. Who in their right mind is gonna turn down a discounted Whopper? Have I ever told you I went to a strip club in West Virginia where throwing change was acceptable? Just let that sink in. The strip club was also a double-wide trailer. Let that sink in too. I was born in West Virginia, those are my people. Though my path may wander up and down, my heart will stay in my hometown. Hit it, John Denver.

♫ I hear her voice in the mornin' hour she calls me

The radio reminds me of my home far away
And drivin' down the road I get a feeling
That I should have been home yesterday

Country roads, take me home
to the place I belong
West Virginia, Mountain Momma
Take me home, country roads ♫

I really do get choked up and shed a tear every time I hear that.

Keep going for a video of the cannon in action, plus 'Take Me Home, Country Roads' because I can't think about it and not listen to it.

Thanks to lilco, who agrees making it rain is cool, but making lightning strike is really where it's at. Plus if you could summon tornadoes, that would be awesome too.

  • SingB****

    You should really watch the two videos together and mute the commercial. Also... I am certain I could make a better advertisement than that. That thing was made for trashy parties. I see no trashy parties in this video. False advertising.

  • SingB****

    Also... I bet this is exactly what Kanye West gets Kim for their first wedding anniversary.

  • MustacheHam

    How to deal cards like a mad man. >8D

  • Guest

    alternatively, you could probably make a cool version of a flip-book cartoon using this contraption.

  • Andrew Newton

    The ratio of people who would buy this that could actually make it rain with hundreds of hundreds of dollars vs the people who would use only $1s or monopoly money is evident in the fact that the "commercial" doesn't even use real money.

  • WhiteEagle2

    I feel like one would have a difficult time getting this past the bouncers.

  • zin

    Looks like it can shoot razor-blades just as easily.

  • Andrew Newton

    It's like a glorified TMNT pizza shooter.

  • cabbo

    It's times like these you realize just how important the GW is.

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