MINE: The $1.5-Million Solid Gold Godzilla Statue

July 16, 2014

solid-gold-godzilla.jpg

This is the solid gold Godzilla statue crafted by the Ginza Tanaka jewelry company to celebrate Godzilla's 60th birthday. Did you get him anything? I got him A NUKE TO THE FACE. The statue stands 24-centemeters (~10-inches) tall and weighs 15-kilograms (~33-pounds). You can buy it too, for a scant 150-million yen (~$1.47-million). Alternatively, you can join my crew, help me steal it, and get a cut of the profits. "What's my take?" How does an inch of the tail sound? "Like not enough." You drive a hard bargain. I'll tell you what: how about after the robbery I just put a bullet in you so I don't have to give you anything? "An inch of the tail sounds fair." Too bad, now you're only getting a toenail.

Thanks to Philip, who agrees Indiana Jones is an idiot for thinking that bag of sand would make an acceptable golden idol substitute.

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