Boldly Going Back To Sleep: The Star Trek Captain's Chair Dog Bed

July 2, 2014

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What's that, Lassie? Timmy got beamed back with his penis for an arm?!

This is the Star Trek Captain's Chair Pet Bed available from ThinkGeek ($80). It's a dog bed that looks like the captain's chair from Star Trek. But way plusher. I slept in a dog's bed once when I got drunk and crashed over at a friend's house. I got worms. Just kidding, only fleas. Still, who the hell is going to trust a dog to command their spaceship? That is a lot of responsibility for an animal whose breath smells suspiciously like its own ass. Because one time I let my dog try to drive my car and she was f***ing awful at it. "You know why?" You better not say because she's a woman. "Because she...doesn't have a license." Close one.

Keep going for a shot of the bed with less dog in it, plus a video.

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Thanks to carey, who is holding out for a Death Star cat tree.

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