Man With GoPro Attached Escapes Great White Shark

June 12, 2014

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This is a questionable video of thrill-seeker/possible jackass Terry Tufferson illegally jumping off a cliff into Sydney Harbor when he encounters a great white. So what does he do? Involuntarily shit his bathing suit like a normal person? Maybe. But he also managed to escape. DETAILS AT ELEVEN. Jk jk, details in the little paragraph I copy/pasted below.

As soon as he jumps in, he surfaces and his mates scream, "shark!" Terry, instead of panicking and swimming away like many of us mere mortals would do, actually did what experts say you should: face it, kick at it, and don't panic.

First of all, while he certainly did face it and kick at it, I would argue there was definitely still some serious panicking going on. Secondly, if I've said it once I've said it a million times: we need to fill the oceans with concrete. Sure they cover 71% of earth's surface and are largely unexplored, but come on. If Godzilla, Pacific Rim, H.P. Lovecraft and old pirate lore have taught us anything, it's that whatever surprises the depths of the oceans hold are inevitably going to kill us. Plus if we did fill the oceans with concrete we could drive to any continent! Want to visit Japan or the Egyptian pyramids? Drive or take a train! Don't act like I'm not on to something here. "Earth would die." EARTH IS GOING TO DIE ANYWAYS. Now, meet me at the beach this weekend with as much Quikrete as your local Home Depot has for sale. "That's going to take forever." Hey -- Rome wasn't built in a day.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to fill 'er up, who agreed to help me with my fill the oceans with concrete plan as long as I promised to make a sandcastle first. DEAL.

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