Fill The Oceans With Concrete: Unknown Monster Ate A 9-Foot Great White Shark

June 6, 2014


In news that I really didn't need to remind me to never venture out in the ocean past my ankles, scientists are stumped as to what the hell ate a 9-foot great white shark. What do you think it was? A bigger, cannibal great white shark? Your guess is good as mine, unless you guessed Ursula, in which case your guess is better because I guessed Long John Silver or Capain D (I took two guesses).

Scientists in Australia tagged a healthy 9-foot great white shark as part of program to track these animals. Four months later they found the tracking device washed up on a beach. Something--something really big--had eaten this apex predator.

The recovered device showed a rapid temperature rise and a sudden 1,900-foot change in depth. That's all the information the scientists have.

Whoa whoa whoa -- a rapid temperature rise and a 1,900-foot change in depth? That can only mean one thing. "The Kraken." YEP, it was the f***ing Kraken. Jk jk, I think it was my roommate's mom. She did look 900-pounds heavier the last time she visited. Plus I had to the take the rap for the bong my roommate left on the coffee table.

Keep going for a video.

Thanks to Melissa, who's convinced it was Poseidon getting ready for his annual shark BBQ this weekend.

  • Robert Frederick

    Sperm whales are known to eat sharks, including great white. They are found in all large bodies of water. Their body temperatures are warm and maintained easily and they can easily dive to 9000 feet.

  • Crying L

    What if it was just some other animal, doesn't have to be big or whatever, maybe a squid...? But it took a bite out of the shark and was able to eat the tracker while the shark left, hurt? There might be an animal big enough to eat a shark whole, but they say when it was still in the stomach, it kept coming up to the surface, and I doubt anything big enough to eat a large shark can't be at the surface and no one had been able to discover it...

  • Mingy Winfrey

    Umm btw whoever tried to argue against the Orca
    "Researchers believe that at least some killer whales can dive to at
    least 350 m (1,148 ft.) Adult males killer whales dive more often and
    deeper than adult females."
    And where was this tag placed? How do we know the shark was defiantly eaten? Maybe it was bitten off during mating? or who knows? Maybe its just Cthulhu!

  • MustacheHam

    So, it is true.
    Godzilla is real. :B

  • Lucas Langdone

    Hahaha! Your all wrong! It wasn't one fish it was many. That would be my guess! A huge school of meat eating fish! Under water fight club! The shark just lost that's all!

  • Batman

    The joker was up to his old tricks again

  • zin

    Sorry guys, it was me. I was struck by hardcore cravings.

  • Guest
  • asdfasdfasdf

    I for one support honesty in advertising.

  • rational explanations

    Tag fell off the shark. Other fish ate it...

  • Pat

    Mystery solved. It was the colossal cannibal great white shark:

  • Lisa Skrobanski

    It was obviously megaladon! That huge "extinct" shark that ate a boat and a whale off the coast of Africa....huh, that special on nat geographic wasn't real? Or was it???

  • Jacobcrule

    Anyone even considering the idea that the shark was bitten precisely where they tagged the shark? Here's the order of event I just want to put out there. 1) Shark gets tagged 2) Neighboring animal is attracted to the blood which came as the end result of the tag and takes chunk of meat from previously stated shark 3) Animal with chunk of shark flesh containing the tagging device realizes he made a horrible mistake by pissing off the shark and plunges as deep as it can withstand towards the ocean floor 4) Shark takes chase and slowly becomes bored and swims away never to come back again because of his shitty neighbors 5) The tag remains inside the animal until it makes boom boom 6) The tag washes shore and the data is read, giving the typical Australian animal dude the conclusion there is a giant animal in the ocean. Hilarious

  • Closet Nerd

    It was my fat ass wife, she loves eating large animals.
    Dumped the carcass back in to hide my shame.
    Why must you reveal my dark secrets GW, why?
    ....just sayin

  • My father edited this show (and I provided some of the the graphic design) which was originally called "The Ocean's Super Predator" and aired on ABC in Australia. They do in fact now know it was one of the giant Great Whites that have recently been discovered that live in the waters south of the Australian bite. These sharks grow up to 5.5 metres in length there and are rumoured to be larger than any others found to date.

    There is actually a fair amount of information that was gathered from the data left by the tracking device and from that they were able to rule out Orca Whales and Giant squids as the culprit. The shark that was eaten was taken at a depth, time and place that all coincide with the hunting habits of these Great Whites. Check out the T.V if you get a chance. It is a great documentary!

  • Patrick Banks

    It was just a bigger 20ft+ shark.. problem solved. (18~ ft) (26~ ft)
    Edit: Watch at your own risk pictures of great white missing HUGE chunks:

  • AJ Ogg

    Has there been any confirmation of the shark's distress or death? No? Ok, where can we find more information about this? Start there. Stop speculating and cluttering this page with assumptions and poorly constructed attempts at insults. Half of you are getting trolled and don't even know it. There's good news though. Shark Week begins in 2 short months.

  • Ragnogroth

    They already solved the myth. It were an even larger cannibal great white.

  • j.azzeh ♺

    Can we get Jeremy Wade on dis?

  • Deksam

    The shark gets bitten by another Great White then dies and sinks fast, then a bunch of sharks eat him up attracted to the blood trail and in one fair chunk of the shark also goes the tag into another Great White's belly for 8 days then excremented out.

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