Chugging Uranus: Planet Beers Of The Solar System

June 24, 2014


Notice how I opted against using 'Pounding' in the title? It wasn't easy. Possibly the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

This is the Planet Series of beers from Bell's Brewery in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Each was inspired by Gustav Holst's orchestral composition, 'The Planets,' (Youtube video of the entire musical suite after the jump) in which our solar system's planets and their astrological character are described through music. "No Pluto?" Don't even get me started. The beers:

"Mars, The Bringer of War" - Double IPA

"Venus, The Bringer of Peace" - A Blonde Ale brewed with honey, apricot, vanilla and cardamom

"Mercury, The Winged Messenger" - A Belgian Single

"Jupiter, The Bringer of Jollity" - A malt forward Brown Ale

"Saturn, The Bringer of Old Age" - A Bourbon Barrel-aged Barleywine

"Uranus, The Magician" - Black Double IPA

"Neptune, The Mystic" - A beer inspired by Dr. Bell's Medicinal Stout, one of Larry Bell's homebrews that also helped inspire Eccentric Ale

Which sounds the best to you? I'm thinking the Mars Double IPA. Although the Uranus Black Double IPA seems...appropriate. Although, honestly, it should probably be a brown ale with hints of corn. Damn, now I want to drink beer. How about we all skip out of work this afternoon and go watch the soccer games? I am like, a PRO at yelling at the television. I'm so good I even yell at the commercials. F*** YEAH, LADY, YOU GET THOSE TOUGH STAINS OUT IN THE WASH -- BEASTMODE THAT SHIT.

Keep going for a video of the whole musical arrangement.

Thanks to Legendaryxatdx, who's so legendary people have been telling tales about him around campfires for generations.

  • MustacheHam

    I'm not sure if I should drink Mercury. :B

  • CkGordon

    I bet Mars is actually a really friendly planet and this video hurt his feelings

  • Chad Ness

    Awesome, I'll be in Kalamazoo next week and will have to stop by to pound, uh, well, you know.

  • Marc-Andr√© Jutras

    No Earth?

  • roehlstation

    - Mars, the Bringer of War- Venus, the Bringer of Peace- Mercury, the Winged Messenger- Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity- Saturn, the Bringer of Old Age- Uranus, the Magician- Neptune, the Mystic
    Earth was not included in Holst's composition.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    "Uranus, The Magician"
    I'm gonna make this bottle disappear!

  • asdfasdfasdf

    would buy and drink pluto

  • Gene Kaufman

    If nobody had made reference to Pluto, why... my life would have been over. My heart would have stopped and my brain would have frozen over.

    Yet you asdfasdfasdf, you did. You have made my life WORTH LIVING.
    I salute you and your repeating name.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    "Uranus, The Magician"
    I'm gonna make this bottle disappear!

  • jeffrey jakubowski

    uranus is going to taste like ass... someone had to say it

  • zin

    Black Double! There's no way they didn't do this with ass in mind.

  • V_Ferg

    Bell's is great and not going to argue with getting a ton of new beer to try but this is not the first place to do a planet series. That would go to Midnight Sun brewery in Alaska. If you never tried their stuff make an effort to do so, most of it is delicious.

    Source - http://midnightsunbrewing.c...

  • Guest

    superior for their recognition of pluto


  • Doombah

    They may have done a planet series, but this one is specifically based on The Planets Suite by Gustav Holst. There is no Earth and Pluto in his because he was done writing them before Pluto was even discovered. The AK brewery does look good, though.

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