ALIENS: Astronomers Pick Up Mysterious Signal From Galaxies 240-Million Light Years Away

June 25, 2014

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NASA has announced it's picked up an unusual x-ray signal emanating from the Perseus Cluster, a group of thousands of galaxies and one of the most massive objects in the universe. Scientists suspect it's an indication of the presence of dark matter, but I'm still hoping for aliens. Also, 240-million light years away? Can you even fathom that -- like, the distance light travels in 240-million years? That's 1,410,758,333,065,476,400,000 miles. And to think you used to complain on long car trips when you were a kid. You owe your parents an apology.

One of their theories is really interesting: It may be "produced by the decay of sterile neutrinos, a type of particle that has been proposed as a candidate for dark matter." According to Esra Bulbul, at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics in Cambridge, Massachusetts:


We know that the dark matter explanation is a long shot, but the pay-off would be huge if we're right. So we're going to keep testing this interpretation and see where it takes us.

DARK MATTER. Wait -- what is dark matter? I know it's supposed to make up some 85% of the universe's mass, but what is it? Because in my mind it's like if you order a chicken and the lady at the counter asks if you want light meat or dark meat. Dark matter is like the dark meat, it has more fat. And that's why dark matter makes up the majority of the universe. See -- it all makes sense! "You are an idiot." Don't act like that chicken metaphor wasn't good. I want hot wings.

Thanks to Lizzy, ed, SpeakerJuice and Robin, who have all been praying for an alien invasion. SAME. I don't care if they're good or evil, just come already.

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