WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!: World's Tallest Waterslide Opening Delayed After Test Riders Catch Air

May 27, 2014


Remember the 17-story Verrückt water slide that was being built at the Schlitterbahn park in Kansas City? Well it was supposed to open this last weekend. The only problem is, the first round of test riders caught air near the bottom of the main ramp, leading the park to question the ride's safety. Pfft, just put netting over the slide and tell riders they're SUPPOSED to catch air. Boom -- problem solved. Damn, I should work at Disneyland. "GW! Another kid just fell out of Space Mountain!" Uh oh. *flicking syringe* Bring him to my brainwash chamber. "Seriously?" No, give him an ice cream and some Mickey ears and make them sign away their right to sue. "Then what's in the syringe?" Steroids -- I've been injecting them straight into my penis and I'm not going to stop until it can bench press 220 on its own. "Why 220?" That's how much my roommate's mom weighs.

Thanks to lilco, who agrees a ride without the risk of bodily injury is hardly a ride worth taking.

  • MustacheHam

    *adds to: "To to If I'm About to Kick the Bucket List"

  • Chris

    They fixed the glitch. The 'hump' has already been redesigned with a longer, shallower uphill portion.

    Hopefully that should reduce airborne-related injuries to one or two per month.

  • Corky McButterpants

    Ah! The internet is a wonderful thing...

    “...when it's not destroying attention spans & ruining legitimate journalism!!”
  • zin

    I'm gonna freefall into this thing with a surfboard & launch myself into orbit.

  • Michelle

    http://www.kctv5.com/story/... I see the tube getting air in that video. They can say its untrue all they want but I wouldnt want to be the one catching air like that.

  • Corky McButterpants

    They can say that; seeing as how that's a completely different waterslide!

  • Jacob

    The people catching air in the video are on a different ride. They say its a similar but smaller ride in the video.

  • It's actually just a rumor. No one went flying...read the entire linked article, at the bottom it says that the story isn't true. I live in KC, so I would have heard if there were any injuries.

    See here:

  • Is that a new form of death penalty in the states ?

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