God, Those Teeth: McDonald's New Happy Meal Mascot

May 21, 2014


Meet Happy, McDonald's new Happy Meal mascot. Happy is happy because he just devoured the souls of countless children hoping for a Pokemon toy with their meal. "You know what the new mascot needs? Googly eyes and giant dick-biting lips," I imagine some executive arguing at a marketing meeting.

According to a McDonald's release, Happy "will encourage kids to enjoy fruits, vegetables, low-fat dairy and wholesome beverages such as water or juice." The fast-food chain introduced the mascot along with the announcement of a low-fat yogurt side option.

I'm not entirely sure how Happy is going to encourage kids to eat healthy unless it involves frightening them away from McDonald's. Mom? I think I want to go to Subway. Did you guys even bother conducting any focus groups? When reached for comment, one famous musician had this to say, " Not even if it was the last box on earth." Justin Timberlake, ladies and gentlemen!

Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who is so evil he's actually the one that submitted the design to frighten children.

  • Guest

    Ronald was much better

  • stuffsticks

    You eat his happy meal, he'll eat your soul

  • Alexandre Lamaison

    I live in France and this little guy has been the happy meal mascot since at least 2010, with dozens of commercials in form of funny short movies, frequently with other characters from other kid's media (Rio, Raving Rabbids, Despicable me, Star wars, etc). Check Youtube to see. These commercials were actually one of the first videos that made my baby boy laugh. Now he is almost 4 and it's still one of his favourite characters. He has toys of him, his nanny had toys of him and I suppose many kids have toys of him as he is one of the frequent freebies given with the meals. Never heard anyone complain about his so-called creepiness around me, nor heard any fuss when he became the mascot in Europe. So, I have a veryyyyy hard time to understand the bashing he seems to get in the US where he appears to be "new".

  • asdfasdfasdf

    same reason we hate tingle and japan(and chunks of europe*cough france cough*) loves the shit out of the evil bastard

  • Reminds me of those freaky Quiznos commercials...

  • Guest

    This is what they were protesting about yes? http://www.usatoday.com/sto...

  • This_Update_Sucks

    "Happy"? More like Commie. Thanks Obama.

  • Follower of The Turtle

    This idol mocks The Great and Powerful Cosmic Zombie Turtle! This so called "GW" even mocks our Turtle Lord by calling this abomination "God", as well as showing fascination for it's teeth. Cosmic Zombie Turtle has no need for such mockery, BE GONE WITH YOU.

  • GreyGanado

    Some of the ads with that guy are actually funny.

  • Tyguy

    Burn it with fryer grease!

  • Miguel Calvimonte

    Yes, it has appeared in every commercial shown in south america for at least one year

  • asdfasdfasdf

    significantly creepier than the burgerking

  • G33ksnchz

    Same in Costa Rica

  • Eiyuu

    What? he has been the mascot in Europe for ages now...

  • Frédéric Purenne

    My condolences if you live there...

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Not only Europe.

  • Elizabeth Daniel

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