F-Cup Cookies Are Supposed To Make Your Boobs Grow

May 15, 2014

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F-Cups?! Damn girl why don't you start with a B and go from there.

These are Japanese F-Cup cookies. They're supposed to make your boobs grow. I would encourage you to stop before reaching an actual F-cup though to avoid future back problems. The completely not scientifically proven secret ingredient is 50mg of Pueraria Mirifica extract per cookie. Pueraria Mirifica allegedly enlarges breasts and improves hair growth, for all you ladies who have always dreamed of being a big-tittied bearded woman. Want bigger boobs? Here's what you do: eat more of any kind of cookies. Girl Scout Cookies will work. Pepperidge Farm will definitely work. "But I'll get fat." But you'll also get bigger boobs. "But I'll get fat." But you'll also get bigger boobs. "But--" Listen, I could do this all day. "But I wanna be skinny with big boobs!" Yeah, and I want a jetpack. You're beautiful just the way you are, that's the real message here. Now if they just sold some A-cup cookies so I could burn off these C-cup man tits that would be great.

Thanks to phaedrus977, who informed me anything bigger than a handful is a waste and I am going to have to politely disagree on account of motorboating. TOOT TOOT! TOOT TOOT! "What are you doing?" Now I'm a tugboat!

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