I'M COMING, LORD: Chicago Skyscraper's 103rd Story Glass Floor Cracks With People Standing On It

May 30, 2014


In an event that would have had me shitting my pants like pants have never been shat before, the glass floor of the 'The Ledge' attraction on the 103rd floor of the Willis Tower in Chicago began cracking while tourists were laying on it. *shivers* Did anybody else just get the goosebumps? What about a boner? Nothing? Is anybody's stomach growling? I knew it -- go get us some bagels.

"Skydeck Chicago is open today while the protective coating is being replaced," said Brian Rehme, a spokesman for public relations firm FleishmanHillard. "We have temporarily closed the four Ledge boxes for routine inspection we hope to reopen them shortly."

Rehme said the visitors were never in any danger.

"This coating does not affect the structural integrity of The Ledge in any way. Occasionally, the coating will crack, as it is designed to in order to protect the surface of the glass," Rehme said in a statement.

Apparently it was only a millimeters-thick protective coating that cracked, and not the actual 3-inch thick glass. Still, it's not like you know that when you're f***ing standing on it and it's cracking beneath you. I would have already been making confessions. I KNOW I CALL YOU ALL MY FRIENDS BUT I REALLY HATE YOU AND DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO BRING YOU DOWN. "Sir, please step out of the box." *opens eyes* I'm not dead! Hey guys...about what I said in there when I thought I was going to die. HAHA -- I MEANT IT ALL, EAT SHIT, I'M STARTING OVER. I cheated death, I'm invincible! *elevator doors open, plummets down shaft*

Thanks to everyone who sent this, at least half of which expressed a fear of heights, and one of which expressed a fear of cold food.

  • zin

    Do they check for people carrying safety-glass hammers when they get on this?

    Do they? Do they? Do they?

  • Closet Nerd

    Sorry, my wife stood on it.
    I really wish her fat ass would have broke it.
    Would be nice to see her fall to her death.

    Just sayin

  • Closet Nerd

    I'm married to your mom, dumb ass

  • Closet Nerd

    Apparantly I have married my own mother.

    How Oedipus of me.

    Jus sayin....

  • pazzerz

    Apparently they were wrong... Plexiglass doesn't crack like that, glass does. Its the same kind of formula as for safety glass, a layer of plastic to hold it all together in case of failure, but its not strong enough to hold up to the weight it was exposed to. Rehme lied.

  • Again, great thoughts by GW!

  • Aaand the Top 1 reason to go on a diet is....

  • MustacheHam

    Is it me or do I see yellowed spots on that panel (not the city lights)?

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