These are Wine-O-Saurs, handcrafted wooden wine bottle holders that look like dinosaurs. They come in Stegosaurus, Parasaur and Dimetrodon species and are the brainchild of Pete Betcher, who sells them in his Etsy store TheBackPackShoppe for $40 apiece (along with Triforce and Mario lamps). I want one of the Stegosaurus ones. That way I can-- "Empty a bottle and put your penis in it?" Wow, really? You...might actually be a genius.
Keep going for the other two species.
Thanks to Spartacus, who sleeps with his sword and is already ready for battle.