Screw You, Cake!: Happy Pi Day

March 14, 2014


Today is 3.14, Pi Day -- a celebration of the mathematical constant. If you really want to get down, set an alarm for 1:59PM and then it will be 3.14159. Make sure to blow a noisemaker, then tear your shirt off and yell, "EAT SHIT, SQUARES -- IT AIN'T YOUR DAY!" At least that's what I'm going to do. I'm kidding, I hope to be in the middle of an afternoon nap by 1:59. A siesta. Thank God it's Friday, because I don't know if I could survive another workday between me and the weekend. Real talk: who likes pie more than cake? I do. My favorite dessert ever is probably a mixed berry pie with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream on top. You might want to jot that down for future reference. "No, that's okay." I SAID WRITE IT DOWN. Also, my favorite colors are green and brown, my favorite planet was Pluto before they took it away, and now I purposefully haven't chosen a new favorite in protest. My favorite element is fire. Wow, I've got to admit I was a little nervous at first but I think this date is going really well. "This is not a date." Then why are we holding hands? "Wait, why ARE we holding hands?" Let's kiss.

Thanks to everyone who reminded me it was Pi day. Also, next year will be a very special Pi Day because it will be 3/14/15 and at 9:26:53 it will be a full ten digits of Pi. Wowie zowie!

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