Name It Pluto: New Pink Dwarf Planet Discovered At Edge Of Solar System

March 27, 2014


According to astronomers, there's a previously undiscovered pink dwarf planet orbiting our sun at 7-billion miles (about 75x the distance from the sun to earth). Hopefully there's a rest stop between here and there, because I will definitely need to potty on the trip. *brap* Uh-oh.

It is 280 miles in diameter and is in a distant area of the Solar System way beyond Pluto once thought to contain no planets at all.

The object - dubbed 'VP' or 'Biden' after the US Vice President - is only the second to be found in a mysterious region at the boundary between the Solar System and outer space called the inner Oort Cloud.

Astronomers now believe there may be thousands of previously unknown objects orbiting the Sun at this distance.

And they believe that the pattern of the new planet's orbit suggests it is caused by the gravitational pull of a 'Super Earth' that traces such a large orbit around the Sun that it has never been seen.

How are we still discovering things in our own solar system? I thought we were already discovering planets in other solar systems because we knew pretty much everything there was to know about ours. Or is our solar system just not that interesting anymore? You know what I blame? Taking away Pluto's planet status. That f***ed a lot of kids up. I turned to drugs, I really did.

Thanks to Jamie M (who is an actual planetary scientists!) and Thaylor H (who isn't but is still super cool in my book), who encourage you all to reach for the stars and melt your grubby little hands off.

  • Matty Spinny

    name it red dwarf! name it now!!!

  • spectre99

    planet Biden: home for the criminally insane, terminally unintelligent, ultra elite class of boorish dolts.
    should've called it PEPTO!! amirite

  • Jonathan Yergo

    The name "Biden" is very fitting because of how far out of touch it is from people.

  • I had to Google "Super Earth" because that's a stupid fucking term for a "large rocky planet".

    I fully expected a Super Earth planet to have water that's a color we've never seen before, spiders the size of Volkswagon vans, and enough tacos on it to support the human race for a trillion, trillion, trillion, billion years.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    Pluto and Pinky...I feel like Goofy, Mickey and Minnie mouse would fit right in!

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    ◛◛◛ ◛◛◛ ◛◛◛⟱ ◛◛◛ ◛◛◛ ◛◛◛Astronomers now believe there may be thousands of previously unknown objects orbiting the Sun at this distance.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    The spambot got defused. Seems like Geekologie won the man vs machines war this time.

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