How Romantic: Love Triangle Ends With Stabbing From Legend Of Zelda Master Sword

March 4, 2014


Him? Own a Master Sword replica? I don't believe it.

So you might have noticed I didn't write yesterday because I am deathly ill but I am trying to write today but my brain feels like the Jello that somebody's already squished between the gaps in their teeth a couple times, so bear with me. Or bare with me and we can start our own nudist thing. A man stabbed his girlfriend's ex-husband with a replica of the Master Sword from The Legend of Zelda after she called him to come over following an argument between the new lovers. And that's why you should never date a woman who can still remember her ex-husband's number.

Thompson's girlfriend let the man inside. Thompson said he ran to the back bedroom and told the man to leave the house, but he refused and started charging at him.

"I heard him heading to the bedroom where I was, so I jumped in the closet and I grabbed one of my replica swords, and I pulled it out and stood at the doorway, and he was coming down the hallway at me while I was yelling, 'Go away, you don't live here' and he just walked right into the point of the sword, I don't know if he thought it was a toy," said Thompson.

Thompson told Local 2 he managed to get the man out of the house and locked the door. But he said the man wouldn't give up and broke through the front door and ran back into the house.

Deputies said the two men fought over the sword and in the scuffle, the estranged husband was stabbed -- once in the chest and once in the leg. Thompson said the man grabbed a flower pot from outside and smashed it over his head.

"It dinged me on the head and all of a sudden I had blood pouring down my face," said Thompson.

Ahahahhahahhaha, "So I jumped in the closet and I grabbed one of my replica swords." What other swords do you have in there? Maybe a Buster Sword? A couple lightsabers? I'm not making fun, I'm more jealous than anything. But not about your relationship, because it sounds like you've got a couple weeks of living in your car while looking for a new place ahead of you. Let me know if you need somebody to keep an eye on your sword collection in the meantime.

Keep going for the local news report.

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Thanks to Philrules, who keeps a replica of Frodo's Sting under his bed in case anybody comes looking for the One Ring.

  • He obviously didn't have a buster sword replica; I'd choose that other the master sword any day.

  • Mark Daniel Johansen

    " And that's why you should never date a woman who can still remember her ex-husband's number." I think this article better illustrates a lesson I learned from two failed marriages: Surprising and counter-intuitive as it may seem, insane asylums are NOT a good place to meet women.

  • Big Hug Mug

    Give this man a medal

  • Luka Mlinar

    Ow man, sorry to hear it. Get well soon GW.

  • I wish my love life was this exciting. I'm more likely to get stabbed for playing too much Zelda in the first place.

  • The Alchemist

    How on this good Earth do you get sick so much? I'm not mad or irritated; I really love your work. I'm more concerned about your T4 helper lymphocytes. I....I love you.

  • Just_Sam

    Next time buy a gun and this shit won't happen.

  • Guest

    if violence wasn't your last resort you failed to resort to enough

  • Just_Sam

    That worked well for the Ukraine.

  • fdafda

    the hell did the ex do? shes the problem there, poor basically random bystander
    (its never the cheating wife who gets shot its always the guy fucking her who probably never knew she was married)

    thats what i was thinking right up until i read this bit
    dude locked himself in the beadroom demanded the stranger leave and the guy broke back in. then its pretty stand your ground. had no right to be in the house, the x shouldn't have been in conflict not like he had the girl barricaded in with him she was clearly free to leave if she answered the door.

  • Closet Nerd

    Capn Stabbin

  • Guest

    You should change the title to say:

    How Romantic: Love Triforce Ends With Stabbing From Legend Of Zelda Master Sword

  • balashi

    So I'm picturing him holding the flower pot directly over his head with both arms, then throwing it in a perfect arc to bop the other guy!

  • Cecelia Jones

    my classmate's aunt Μ­­­­­­а­­­­­­K­­­­­­е­­­­­­ѕ $­­­­­­­­83 հ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ս­­­­­­rly on the і­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­е­­­­­­r­­­­­­ո­­­­­­е­­­­­­τ. She has been without a ј­­­­­ο­­­­­ƅ for 8 Μ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­հ­­­­­­ѕ but last Μ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­հ her ρ­­­­­­а­­­­Уment was $­­­­­­­­16434 just W­­­­­­ο­­­­­­r­­­­­­King on the і­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­е­­­­­­r­­­­­­ո­­­­­­е­­­­­­τ for a Ϝ­­­­­­е­­­­­­W հ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ս­­­­­­rs. look at this ѕ­­­­­­і­­­­­­τ­­­­­­е,.. https://GetPosition2014businessrwpe...

    ♚♚♚ ♚♚♚ ♚�♚♚ ♚♚♚� ♚♚♚I'm more concerned about your T4 helper lymphocytes. I....I love you.

  • Lee

    Annd a red Rupee appears! 30 Rupees! [taken from IGN post]

  • Billy Maxwell

    Hey man, get well soon. I was worried, Geekologie is a daily habit I truly enjoy, I would hate it if something happened to you.

  • fdafda

    i thought spoiler at the end of the story was going to be "and thats why i spent yesterday in the hospital or jail without wifi"

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