Cheating Death: 7-Minute Close Calls Compilation

March 17, 2014


Note: Some NSFW language.

I cannot tell you how many times I've almost died. I'd say it's in the thousands. I'm starting to wonder if I'm immortal, but none of my friends are brave enough to run me through with a pirate cutlass to find out. Maybe one of them will grow some balls and poison me this week. This is a seven minute compilation video of close calls. Mostly vehicle related. They reminded me why I don't like driving. Plus gas is expensive and I don't have a car or license. I do have a sweet bicycle though. Although somebody stole my seat while I had it parked at the gym. "You did not go to the gym." I didn't say I went to the gym, I just said my bike was parked there. Ironically, I was at the police station across the street volunteering to be a DETECTIVE. Apparently that is not a volunteer position.

Keep going for the video. Then board up your door and never go outside again.

Thanks to TANK, who isn't afraid of anything on the road because he's a f***ing tank.

  • Toastrider


  • acedick72

    Driving skill level - ASIAN

  • Joe Simonton

    what are you doing here

  • acedick72

    Wowwwwwwwww ... being stalked by a loser across multiple sites' comment sections.

  • Joe Simonton

    you have the address come on

  • acedick72

    You're gaaaaaay.

  • JJtoob

    Faith in humanity, nature and machines lost.

  • darabe

    i never want to leave the house again.

  • Bubbubsky

    A few things are clear from most of these: 1) There are people who should never be allowed to drive again and 2) there are people who should be beaten severely so they CAN never drive again. Not necessarily in that order.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    I would like to add that we should not be giving tickets for jaywalking... let natural selection do its job!

  • JJtoob

    Unfortunately, natural selection's job description does not include cleaning up the aftermath, they give that job to a city employee, so someone's got to pick up the tab.

  • zin

    A lot of these people just plain got quick reflexes. Then you have the ones that freak out & don't know what to do so they just keep waddling around.

    I once got flung in the air by a car. Thanks to reflexes, I minimized the damage to a small bruise on my knee. Or that may have been because it was a Peugeot.

  • Crackredactie

    Atleast 90% of these clips originated in Russia, the country which middle says equals final fortune.

  • Kanein Encanto

    I recognized the one at 1:28 as being from Las Vegas... recognize the Palace Station and Stratosphere in the shot... wonder when it happened... betting it was on the I-95...

  • Anna Kalinnikova

    The crazy thing, guys, i'm from Russia and one of the clips - is a friend of my friend. The one who is shitting his pants on 3:22 ))
    The world is a small place )

  • cabbo

    Guy's got swag.

  • Cordingly

    The dog one, god. So many times I stop and the dumb ass behind in the next lane keeps going.

  • JJtoob

    I see that too where I live, but the difference is a high schooler or a bunch instead of the dog. I'm thinking of doing that thing where people hold a stop sign and wear an orange vest to stop traffic just because I don't want to see one of those kids bite it just because of an idiot without better sense. I'm not even going to ask for compensation, looking at high school girls for half an hour will be my reward (promise to not do it creepily).

  • Kanein Encanto

    I hear ya... among my dash cam videos I have a small black cat getting run over... he (or she) did get run over by the tire but also bounced back up, ran back clear across the street (5 lanes worth of space) and jumped a 6 or 7 foot wall...don't know if it was just adrenaline or he simply survived entirely... I constantly hope for the latter...

  • cabbo

    Cats do that. I hit one once (was awful. I saw it sitting by the side of the road waiting to run out. It decided to run at pretty much the exact wrong time, and there was nothing I could do). Later someone told me that generally cats, especially little ones, don't die right away. They just run to a secluded spot. Then die. Still feel bad about that.

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