McGruff The Crime Dog Gets 16 Years For 1,000 Pot Plants, Weapons (Including A Grenade Launcher)

February 7, 2014

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41-year old John R. Morales used to play McGruff the Crime Dog. That was many moons ago. Apparently since then he started a massive pot growing operation and was just sentenced to 16 years in the slammer for the results of a raid on his home in 2011. And that, my friends, is why you never want to get your home raided. Even if you have nothing to hide, the cops aren't going to wipe their feet before kicking your door down and tracking mud all over the carpet.

When police raided his house, they seized 1,000 marijuana plants and 9,000 rounds of ammunition for an assortment of 27 weapons -- including a grenade launcher


After three years, Morales, 41, pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 16 years in jail Monday.

Even though Morales said he was nonviolent, U.S. District Judge Vanessa Gilmore said, "Everything I read about you makes you seem like a scary person."

Who would have ever guessed?! The man in the crime fighting dog costume was actually some sort of drug growing kingpin! It was the perfect disguise. Turns out McGruff wasn't taking a bite out of crime after all, just high and eating junkfood. You ever smashed up a bunch of Oreos in a glass of milk then put it in the freezer for awhile? The trick is not getting so high you forget about it.

Thanks again to ChaosLex, who, for two tips in a row, gets to take the D.A.R.E. bear home for the weekend.

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