BroApp, An App For Automatically Texting Your Girlfriend

February 28, 2014


BroApp is a $2 Android app that automatically sends prewritten text messages to your girlfriend so she thinks you're an attentive boyfriend instead of the sad piece of shit you really are. Also -- darl? Who the hell calls their girlfriend, darl? I would break up with you for calling me that. Or asking, 'Hey babe, what's doing with you today?" WHAT'S DOING WITH ME TODAY? I'm breaking up with my f***ing idiot boyfriend, that's what.

BroApp allows users to 'outsource their relationships' and spend more time with 'the bros' by sending automated romantic texts to a girlfriend's phone

...boyfriends compose a number of texts, which can be timed to be sent automatically on a specific day, even if he is busy enjoying the company of his male friends. The makers claim that "BroApp leverages advanced algorithms to intelligently determine the best time to send a text message to your girlfriend".

Men are also asked to identify their girlfriend's WiFi network, so that his cover won't be blown by pre-written texts being sent to her while he is at her house.

If the user has recently texted or called his girlfriend "in real life", or she has recently contacted him, texts scheduled by the app are cancelled so as not to arouse suspicion that he is using an automated service.

First of all, if you're not attentive enough to occasionally write your girlfriend, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship. Secondly, if you're actually using an app to text your girlfriend so you can "spend more time with the bros", you might be in love with men. Thirdly, what happens when she gets your, "Hey babe, how was your day?" text AND THEN ANSWERS? Why did you ask how my day was and then not say anything after I responded? Because to me that seems even worse than not texting in the first place (although I've never had a girlfriend so I don't know but sometimes I do call my house line and talk to my dog through the answering machine).

Keep going for a video.

Thanks to Bullrush, who senses a breakup app right around the corner.

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