Apocalypse Ready: Military Develops Pizza That Can Keep For 3-Years Without Refrigeration

February 25, 2014


OMG, I love prototype pizza!

Pizza: hands down my favorite food behind tacos. And now the US military has developed a formula that can stay fresh for three years without refrigeration. Although "fresh" might be relative. When reached for comment, ninja turtle Michelangelo was so high he thought he'd called Dominoes and tried to order a large meat-lover's from me.

According to the Associated Press, military researchers have spent two years engineering a pizza recipe with a shelf life of three years. The biggest challenge appears to be figuring out how to keep the MRE pizza from molding and growing bacteria. The military's scientists solved that issue by using "humectants...sugar, salts and syrups...that bind to water and keep it from getting to the dough" as well as tweaking acidity and adding iron fillings to prevent air and moisture from ruining the pizza dough.

Cool, military, but I'm pretty sure McDonalds has had food that can last forever technology for more than a decade now. So if I could just have the portion of my taxes that went towards funding this 'breakthrough' returned to me, that would be great.

Thanks to Brank, who referenced the, "Question -- do you like penicillin on your pizza?" scene from the first Ninja Turtle movie, instantly making himself one of my favorite people ever.

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