A Cork Globe For Push-Pinning Everywhere You've Been

February 26, 2014


But why is it round?!

This is the Cork Globe from SUCK UK. It costs $200. You're supposed to use it to push-pin all the cities and countries you've visited so when people come into your office they'll see just how well traveled you are and get super intimidated by your worldliness. Me? I intimidate people who come into my office the old fashioned way: locking the door, tying them to their seat, and whipping them with my phone charger until they tell me where they hid the money. I'm joking, I don't even have an office, and if anybody saw me trying to pull that in my cubicle they'd probably call security. That's because I work with a bunch of sissies who DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET SHIT DONE. If I had a cork globe it would only have one push-pin in it -- ON THE MOON. Suck it goobers, I'm a space ranger!

Keep going for a closeup because it exists.


Thanks to me, who needs Milky Way Galaxy globe set to mark all the places I've been.

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