Stephen Hawking: Black Holes Don't Really Exist

January 28, 2014


According to renowned theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking, black holes don't really exist. At least not in the "they destroy everything that gets close enough" theory that's been perpetuated. Oh really? Then how do you explain my ex-girlfriend?

The conventional view of black holes posits that their gravitational pull is so powerful that nothing can escape from them--not even light, which is why they're called black holes. The boundary past which there is supposedly no return is known as the event horizon.

"The absence of event horizons means that there are no black holes, in the sense of regimes from which light can't escape," Hawking wrote in a paper he posted online on January 22.

Instead, Hawking proposes that black holes possess "apparent horizons" that only temporarily entrap matter and energy that can eventually reemerge as radiation. This outgoing radiation possesses all the original information about what fell into the black hole, although in radically different form. Since the outgoing information is scrambled, Hawking writes, there's no practical way to reconstruct anything that fell in based on what comes out.

I dunno, this is all way over my head. My head is low. "You're sleeping under your desk." I had a rough night last night. "You want to talk about it?" Not really, but I appreciate you being there for me. "I was hoping you were going to tell an embarrassing story I could use against you later." You're a real pal, you know that? The kinda pal I could really stab with a ninja sword.

Thanks to Greta and beaker88, who have both saw Event Horizon in the theater, making them experts on the matter.

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