So Many Questions: The First Ninja Turtle Movie Poster

January 30, 2014


This is allegedly the first movie poster for the upcoming Ninja Turtles movie. It left me with so many questions. Why does Rafael's shoulder look like a watermelon? Why is Donatello wearing eyeglasses? Is he the only one who needs corrective lenses or are the others wearing contacts? Did they have to put that tape on his glasses? What the hell are those goggles on top of his head? Did they really replace his bō with a shower curtain rod? Donatello already has a hard enough time being anybody's favorite ninja turtle, why'd you have to go and make him look like that? FULL DISCLOSURE: Donatello actually was my favorite ninja turtle growing up. "WHAT?!" It's true. "That explains so much." Oh yeah? Does it explain THIS? "You pointing at your crotch?" Yeah, does it explain that? "I guess not." I DIDN'T THINK SO.

Thanks to whoever posted this on Facebook and got it to show up on my mini-feed instead of an Upworthy video or some article about '21 Things You Won't Believe About What The F*** Ever'.

  • Cassandra S. Dizon

    Donatello is really a Lakitu!

  • Liz

    Ugh! Raph looks like a pug and Mike looks like the grandma from Dinosaurs. WTF!?

  • Battastic

    Why is Michelangelo wearing a gold chain?

  • Sooper

    Donatello was always the best turtle, because nerd.

  • No way, cuz bo staff! You always save him for last on the TMNT NES game cuz he had the sick reach. Raph's stupid sais were basically useless.

  • Adam Blanshard

    and why does Raf have a red head? hoping it to be a mistake when colouring

  • Azariel_z

    Donatello is my Favorite TNMT, always... I really feel uncomfortable with their faces...

  • Chris Short

    Donatello was my favorite too. He was the smart one.

  • Richelle Howes

    People, do you not remember that Donatellos the SMART/nerdy/inventive/tech-savvy one, HENCE the cliché glasses and magnifying goggles, for when he's tinkering with shit. Duh ;P

  • Jai Mico

    Whats the deal with the huge NOSES??? WTF
    Specially in Mikey and Rafael

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    I think its trying to make them looks more like real turtles, or tortoises.

  • Conrado Parra

    I dont...Know how to say this correctly, but I think they're trying to make them hyp black guys ala BadBoys

  • Tallon

    I like these. I was brought into the TMNT think through the cartoon but this is totally in keeping with the comics. They wear clothing quite a bit in the original comics. Mikey wears shirts when he's writing stories, the rest wear pants and robes from time to time to stay warm. In a "real world" scenario, they'd probably all want to look different and wear cool shit from time to time. And why is Leo dressed in samurai looking garb? well, what martial arts buff doesn't watch kungfu and Samurai movies? I'm sure these dudes watch Kurosawa films all the time.

  • Honestly, Michael Bay can do whatever he wants with my childhood. This looks ridiculous and weird and I'm kinda all for it. They needed a fresh take.

    Plus he made pain and gain, which is one of the best films of our time so he gets a pass this time around.

  • Alex Fruen

    I agree, going with the same old look would have been boring, I find this new twist quite exciting. I expect most people to hate it simply because it's different.

  • Apparently not a movie poster. Per reddit, this is just a crop from a standee for the new line of toys:

    Full image here:

  • Tyler AitchKay

    Oh jesus, Donatello is going to be a Steve Urkel stereotype, isn't he?

  • MeggyMonster

    "Why is Donatello wearing eyeglasses?" It's so Michale Bay can use that golden line "You wouldn't punch a guy wearing glasses would ya?" into his movie. The man is a GENIUS!! ლ(Ծ Д Ծლ)

  • da1nonlysage

    You, sir, can have one week's pay from my paycheck if that line gets used. PayPal?

  • RareAwesomeman

    I don't get the whole glasses + the goggle like things...they might want to rethink this

  • MeggyMonster

    Donnie always was one for multitasking.

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