Not Good At All: What Michael Bay's Ninja Turtles Are Going To Look Like

January 23, 2014


Because what good is making a new Ninja Turtle movie if you can't sell kid's Halloween costumes of all the characters, this is a leaked shot of a costume based on the way the Ninja Turtles will appear in the Michael Bay produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles due out in a few months. Apparently the turtles have tattoos. And wear sunglasses (despite not having external ears). AND SHORTS?! Where the hell do you buy shorts in mutant turtle sizes? Besides, a turtle's penis isn't visible outside the cloaca except during mating, so there's really no reason to wear shorts in the first place. I'd think running into an anthropomorphic turtle wearing shorts would be even weirder than running into a naked one. You know how the script for Quintin Tarantino's new movie got leaked and now he's said he isn't going to make it? They should consider doing something similar for this.

Thanks to lilco, who admitted to having a crush on Michelangelo. You do know he's a turtle, right? "Aren't you into dinosaurs?" Turtles are cool, you could date a turtle if you wanted.

  • Buris

    Shrek! I thought our time together was ogre! Now you come back with an orange mask!

  • CrazyUncleNicola

    Good news thats not what they look like

  • Chraven

    If they're making the turtles CG, then this may just be a placeholder for when actors interact with them. At least I hope so...

  • KG

    So this is really just a movie about Shrek tearing off his ears and becoming a superhero?

  • Shawn Bibby


  • Joel Lamm

    It looks like Jim Carrey in "The Mask"

  • Antrozous

    Worst photoshop ever candidate.

  • Adam Brewin

    This doesn't really bother me too much to be honest. The Ninja turtles (As in the TV series) were marketed to kids for being 'rad'...they skateboarded, surfed in the sewers and ate frisking pizza. The shows makers adapted the turtles from the comic to embellish what was deemed popular at the time by the I can't really complain at what they've done here as its no different. If we are going to complain about changing the source material, then the original cartoon series REALLY deserves to be complained about

  • kristopher

    What's frisking pizza? Sounds erotic.

  • Kirkimus

    I Photoshop for a living and every piece of this that was listed in the toy line description has been Photoshopped on. I'll worry about the movie, but this image is a hoax.

  • Yup. The shadows are all wrong.

  • $18889437

    Then as you know a lot of concept/promotional art for a product is produced exactly this way... so saying it's photosopped doesn't necessarily mean it's automatically a hoax. could be, but photoshop is not proof of that... I also do photoshop for a living and I've seen this bad and worse end up on product packaging.

  • Kirkimus

    You've got a point. I fail to see how Platinum Dunes, with their insane need to make everything epic, would 'OK' a design with the sweatshirt sleeve as an individual piece of the costume, though. I could understand if this was a concept but it is extremely amateur and looks like someone used the description leak as a checklist to cut and paste. Agreed, there is a lot of shite work released, but I doubt from this project and with the obvious practical fails.

    You are right, though. It very well could be and being Photoshopped does not mean it isn't legit. I'm just not worried about this.

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    Backpack!? Those are his weapon straps! For all the sharp deadly weapons that they will somehow fail to kill people with...

  • TyDurd

    This movie took a huge dump when they got rid of the ooze and had the turtles spawn because of aliens..

  • $18889437

    Most of the press says they abandoned the alien concept.. google "turtles will not be aliens" and tons of articles come up confirming this concept was abandoned... that said that could be misdirection to keep people from bitching. Anything's possible with Bay at the helm.

  • TyDurd

    I heard that too. I was under the impression that they were not going to have the turtles BE aliens, but they were mutated BECAUSE of aliens. I could be wrong... hopefully

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z
  • Tyguy

    THAT'S A THING?!.....damn Mike

  • Joshua Brett Adams

    Is this one of the goombas from the new mario bros movie??

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