This is a three and a half minute, ultra slow motion video of a match igniting. In real time matches ignite much quicker. Maybe not as quick as The Flash masturbates, but what is? I've heard he's so fast his penis has actually caught fire before. See how I tied that into the matches/flame theme going on here? That's why I get paid the big bucks. "You get paid?" Ahahahahahahaha, NO CLUE.
Hit the jump for the video, unless you're already on the article's page, in which case you can skip that step and just scroll down. Crazy how that works.
Thanks to Johnathan, who loves watching things burn so much he's been incarcerated for it.