Australian Sharks Now Tweeting When Close To Shore

January 2, 2014


Because nobody wants to get eaten by a shark (although I have fantasized about it before), 320 sharks known to lurk in the waters off Western Australia have been fitted with tags that will send a tweet from the Surf Life Saving Twitter account if they swim within a kilometer of the shore. That way you know where not to go surfing. Or, if you're like me, where to pick a fair fight.

Thanks to Chris, who once punched a shark in the mouth so hard he put all the teeth it lost under his pillow and made $65.


    Now if only we could turn the homeless into WiFi Hotspots.

  • Brandon Beall

    His humor was way too dry for you I see.

  • AKit Oriley

    Can they make these for Ex s

  • stutelf

    What about the sharks that didn't sign up?

  • Nah it's like the new health care bill, the sharks have to opt out and pay a fine if they wanna eat people.

  • Beanhimself

    Couple issues, i'm not good at math but some sharks can swim 50 kph and they tweet when they are one kilometer away? also add in the fact that the last time you checked your twitter account was probably minutes before you got in the water. That means your probably going to die on the beach before you even get to the water.

  • Kenlin Bros

    Do sharks tend to charge around the sea at 50kph?

    Or would that be their "attack speed" when they actually lunge at their prey?

  • Beanhimself

    50 would be maximum not average. Sometimes they do it for fun or to impress the lady sharks.

  • tim

    It'll give people a false sense of security. There are way more than 320 biters that visit the beaches on the west coast of Australia. They also should've used the tag, #BruceIsVisiting

  • Max Baldwin

    I feel bad for the sharks. Now the Australians are gonna know where they are. Sharks are scared of Australians.

  • WhiteEagle2

    Wouldn't a map be better?

  • Oh man... I think ignorance is bliss for me. Having a place where you can see where sharks are in the water is only gonna creep me out more. If they are even a 5 days swim away, fuck it.

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