NORTH DAKOTA?!: The United States Of Penis Size

December 3, 2013

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These are the fifty states (excluding Georgia for some reason but including the District of Columbia) ranked according to peenor size per data gathered by online condom retailer Condomania. It could be 100% inaccurate though because all they really did was tally what percentage of orders sent to a particular state were for larger-than-average sized condoms. First of all, who buys condoms online? I thought condoms were all hastily bought at gas stations. Secondly, half the guys that buy big condoms don't even need them, they just want to BELIEVE they do. Because one time I was over at a buddy's place and I saw a box of Magnums on his dresser and I have seen this dude's pecker before and there is NO WAY those fit unless he's securing them with zip-ties. "Let's go back to the part where you saw your buddy's pecker." What is this, the homoerotic fan-fiction hour? My point is I'm the only person alive from North Dakota.

Thanks to lebeeps, who informed me the girth measurement that actually matters. Cool, because I only order Trojan 'Tractor Tires'.

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