Mind-Reading Headset For Dogs Allows Them To Speak

December 19, 2013


Woof! (I want to sneak my tongue in your mouth)

NoMoreWoof is a mind-reading headset for dogs that translates their thoughts into human language. Things like "I'm tired", "I'm hungry", "I need to pee", and other cues you should already be able to pick up on without having to hear them English. The models available for preorder on Indiegogo:

The NMW Micro $65 A one sensor NMW able to distinguish 2-3 thought patterns, most likely Tiredness, Hunger and Curiosity. Standard English voice option.

The NMW Standard $300
A two sensor version that is able to distinguish 4 or more thought patterns, and can be calibrated to function better with different dogs. Upgradeable software via micro-USB.

The NMW Superior $1,200
Premium mini-speaker implemented in a golden dog-tag with engraving of your choice. Fully customizable color appearance - let it blend in with your dog's fur. Algorithmic learning: NMW superior programs itself while in use, always learning more of how your dog thinks and reacts -over time this option let's your dog speak short sentences ("I'm hungry - but I don't like this")

I don't know, I'd be kind of scared to find out what my dog is thinking. What if he's secretly in love with my leg? What if he wants to kill me? What if he wants to kill me, then run off with my leg? I think some things are best unknown. Plus there's no way in hell he would let me put that on his head.

Keep going for a closeup of the headset and a video about the mind-reader.


Thanks to Marcelo, who is a natural dog-whisperer and doesn't need a mind-reading headset to know when a pet is about to shit on the carpet.

  • Paul

    STUPID , you have to guess what the dog is saying then record it

  • Our SportLeash products were inspired by Mr. Sledmaster, the ultimate mushing dog, Griffey (who's pictured here). Griffey, who treats every leisurely jog as an Iditarod training session, made it well known that, as much of an athlete as I thought I was, he was certainly the best athlete in the family. The problem was running, hiking, even walking with any of the regular or waist leashes on the market was a dreadful, one-handed, cumbersome experience. So, we began to create products geared toward making this experience better. With all of the positive feedback and encouragement to make these available to everyone, the Sportleash brand was born!

  • jess


  • Carlo Simon

    Simpsons Did It with a Baby...

  • Herb

    I read my dogs mind once. Freaked me out. He asked me to hook him up with two female dogs and a cock ring. How did he even know what a cock ring was? Crazy.

  • Herb

    Two things for certain. There is a sucker born every minute. And the inventor's ultimate goal is to cohabitate with dogs to the extent of having sexual relations, which is obviously already achieved.

  • dingusthemonique

    How many Dogecoins will this cost? http://www.barnorama.com/wp...

  • There are a lot of problems with this product.

    1. It should be connectable to a collar so there's less of a chance of the dog shaking the thing off. Needs better and more ergonomic ear hole.

    2. "No More Woof" is a horrible name for the product, and it's misleading. I guarantee a dog that barks at you for attention will continue to bark at you with this thing on its head. No More Woof makes it sound like a zap collar when it should sound like a future toy. Why not give it a simple, sleek little name like PetChat or SpeakBoy or whatever.

    3. We REALLY need to see this thing in action. There needs to be a scientific video demonstration, and even if it does work, they also need to show hard evidence that when the device claims the dog is, say, hungry, a secondary real-time read-out of the dog's brain at the time the device made that assessment needs to be shown to prove that it's doing what it says it's doing. In short, how do we know this isn't just a really expensive MIDI speaker for your dog's head that just blurts out whatever whenever it registers any random alterations in doggy brain waves? It's gonna be very difficult for them to prove this thing does what they say it does.

    4. I'm no brainologist, but isn't every individual brain different? It just seem like there are so many ways this device could fail or give false claims about the dog's thoughts. While the premise is super cool, it ultimately seems pretty flimsy.

    5. How about a model with a small LED text display instead of audio? You could just look at your dogs collar and see it's blinking "FEED ME" or whatever. I think that would be a more practical approach.

  • Paul

    STUPID , you have to guess what the dog is saying then record it

  • Guest

    Sounds like he said animal farts.....i was equally as impressed.

  • RDarker

    1) I am want hungry
    2) I am want horny
    3) I am want sleepy
    4) Refer back to 1

  • galvatron

    This whole concept is an insult to the 50,000 year old kinship between man and dog. If you can't read your dog, you suck at being human.

  • Chris Vigil

    These fucking hipsters make me ashamed of being Swedish.

  • RareAwesomeman

    those prices escalated quickly and was the gold speaker really necessary?

  • backafterthis

    I'm gonna go back and watch Chuck Norris do splits on planes again.

  • uKER

    "This crap they put on my head doesn't allow me to move my ears."

  • ayeitsarouse

    Only the Scandinavians could create such an expensive yet useless device.
    May I point out that the Swiss army knife was designed by a Norwegian, or that lawn darts originated in Sweden? Neither of those facts are true, but both should be.

  • AutoEntropy


  • Pretty sure this is a load of bollocks.
    And even if it isn't I already know when my dog wants to go out, is hungry etc. Plus he hates having things put on his head.

  • Paul

    it's STUPID , you have to guess what the dog is saying or thinking then record it

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