Real Life Batman Bin Suparman Arrested In Singapore

November 11, 2013


A man named Batman Bin Suparman was recently jailed in Singapore after stealing his brother's ATM card to withdraw money, breaking into a business and stealing more money, and using heroin. Superheroes: they're not what they used to be. Or -- OR -- was Batman really under the influence of Scarecrow's fear gas and didn't know what he was doing? Because that's what I would have pleaded in court.

On the night of Aug 9, he broke into the office of GF Billiards & Marketing in Depot Road. He then stole $200 from the $430 placed in a drawer, probably in the hope that the missing amount might not be noticed. That was not so. An employee checked the surveillance video footage and saw that a thief had forced open a window to enter the premises. Police were informed and the offender was arrested on Aug 19. A urine test revealed that he had also been abusing heroin.

Batman, who has his own fan club on the Facebook social networking site, has garnered 10,000 "likes" for his superhero-like name.

Obviously, the real problem here is this guy's parents named him Batman. You're setting a kid up for disaster when you do something like that. That's like your parents naming you Smarty McNobelprizewinner. Of course you're going to the dumbest kid in your class because that is TOO MUCH PRESSURE FOR A CHILD. You know what my parents named me? Nothing, they let me pick my own name when I was old enough. Now that's just good parenting -- take it from your pal Spaghetti'O Voltron Dinosaur.

Thanks to Ryan O, who agrees we should all chip in and see if we can't get Batman here some treatment at Arkham Asylum.

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