Peeing, A How To Guide: Physicists Suggest Best Method For Reducing Backsplash At A Urinal

November 13, 2013


So, you were trying to pee and text at the same time and what happened? You peed on the floor for ten seconds before realizing it, trailing across your shoes, then finally hitting the urinal and backsplashing your pants. You're a wreck. So what do you do? While you're washing your hands you splash a little water around the bottom of your shirt, then when you get back to your date you complain about how insane the water pressure at the men's room sink is. We've all been there. But now physicists at at Brigham Young University have suggested a method for urinal use that minimizes backsplash. If you shit yourself though you should still sneak out the kitchen and convince yourself your date wasn't the girl for you.

Men should stand as close to the urinal as possible... Also helpful is directing the stream to hit the back of the urinal at a downward angle. That creates less splash-back and the drops that do bounce, head downwards into the urinal drain. Conversely, to prevent messing one's trousers (or angering neighbors) they suggest men not spray directly into the urinal or into the pool that forms at the bottom of the urinal, both cause a lot of splash-back.

So as close to the urinal as possible and downward. That kind of goes against the common sense of standing as far away from the urinal as possible, but what do I know? I'm just a man who's been practicing his bank shot off the urinal divider. "How's that working out for you?" Honestly? If peeing was a basketball game I probably wouldn't be a starter.

Keep going for a video tutorial of how to prevent a double dribble.

Thanks to Side Effect, which may include accidentally touching the urinal wall with your penis.

  • Looks like a "Dave"

    If you're tall enough there's always the sink.

  • Mono Chireno

    I'm glad to be a stall kind of guy.

  • Happy_Tinfoil_Cat

    There's a sit-down toilet right over there.

  • Nacho_Samurai

    Also best method to see what your own piss tastes like.

  • galvatron

    Anyone who couldn't figure this out for themselves by age 18 probably deserves piss splash back.

  • Why did scientists need to come up with this? I've been peeing this way for years; It's common sense. But, when I'm out at the pub with friends for some reason I feel this urge to pee from as far back as I can.

  • Guest

    An elf, a gnome, and a dwarf all happen to be in the tavern's bathroom
    at the same time. The elf finishes first and goes to wash his hands.
    He washes his hands thoroughly, all the way up to the elbows. Then he
    turns to the others and says "We elves are the greatest race, for we are
    always clean." with the sneering superiority only an elf can muster.
    By this time the gnome had finished and he goes and washes just the tips
    of his fingers. Then he turns to the others and says "We gnomes are
    the greatest race, because we are frugal and conservative." Then the
    dwarf finishes and on his way out of the bathroom tells the other two:
    "Dwarves are the greatest race because we don't piss on ourselves."

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