Nobody Can Tell You Peed: The World's Tallest Waterslide

November 19, 2013


This is the world's tallest waterslide being built at the Schlitterbahn park in Kansas City. When opened next summer, the Meg-a-Blaster will drop thrill-seeking bathing suit wetters 140-feet, reaching speeds over 62MPH. You know, I've been on these kinds of slides before. They wedge your bathing suit so far up your ass you can taste the fabric.

Thanks to Linc and PYY, who agree all water parks should be kids-free so you don't have to worry about turds in the wave pool.

  • Ronald Peterson

    Is that a guide punch that someone left on that beam? if that falls and hits someone , It will defiantly leave a mark. those things weigh about 3 lbs.

  • Great, now I can piss my pants twice on the way down.

  • Chris

    Hey, that's right outside my office window. What I can't believe is they expect people to climb the stairs all the way up there!

  • "Schlitterbahn" is about to become "Splatterbrain".

  • catallergy

    They'd have to use the jaws of life to remove your swim trunks from your butt-hole. No thanks.

  • Jordo

    Unless there's an elevator, i'm not walking up that....

  • jrose

    I wasn't afraid of heights until I saw this photo.

  • KCRickRoss

    Don't worry about the wedgies, this is a four-person raft ride. More info:

  • Jared Gonzales

    Ok, that I can handle. The other one just seems like a terrible idea.

  • Jfdelman

    Imagine a nice sharp piece of plastic sticking out of that once you reach top speed, mmmmm.

  • Jfdelman

    Umm not sure if its the angle of the pic or not, but I think people will fly off. How much momentum do you get before the drop? What if someone wigs out right at the edge. This is a terrible idea!

  • Jacques-Andr√© Langelier

    Whats wrong with turd in the wave pool?

  • aladdinsane22

    I'm from Kansas City and I saw them building it last time I was there. It seriously looks terrifying. I will probably ride it if I visit over the summer.

  • mschf

    That is wayyyyyyy too steep. People are gonna go flying off.

  • Rafael Jordan

    seriously won't you just fly off??

  • Justatempaccount

    The walls seem to be pretty low....even smaller slides have high walls.

  • wowemily

    Shitterbarn Park? This is clearly a prank or a photoshop. Unless that thing gets higher railings, a modest wind will blow your ass right off the slide.

  • Saeed Jibree Miller

    People are going to die.

  • Mr. K

    I smell a waiver being signed somewhere...

  • Matticus Morgan


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