Shocking: Fast Food Nuggets Are Less Than 50% Meat

October 9, 2013

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In news that shouldn't surprise anybody who's bitten into something weird in the middle of a nugget, scientists have revealed that fast food chicken nuggets are actually less than 50% chicken meat, and more than 50% things you wish you weren't eating. Granted, they still taste delicious. Especially if the drive-thru employee DOESN'T SKIMP ON THE F***ING DIPPING SAUCES.

The nuggets came from two national fast food chains in Jackson. The three researchers selected one nugget from each box, preserved, dissected and stained the nuggets, then looked at them under a microscope.


The first nugget was about half muscle, with the rest a mix of fat, blood vessels and nerves. Close inspection revealed cells that line the skin and internal organs of the bird... The second nugget was only 40 percent muscle, and the remainder was fat, cartilage and pieces of bone.

"We all know white chicken meat to be one of the best sources of lean protein available and encourage our patients to eat it," lead author Dr. Richard D. deShazo of the University of Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson, said. "What has happened is that some companies have chosen to use an artificial mixture of chicken parts rather than low-fat chicken white meat, batter it up and fry it and still call it chicken."

Okay, that's kinda gross. But is that going to stop anyone from running out for a 10-piece at lunch today? It might -- it might stop one person. But that person will make up for it tomorrow with TWO 10-pieces. Now, somebody stand guard while I go play in the ball pit. "You know kids pee in there, right?" But they also drop Happy Meal toys!

Thanks to luis and Banton, who plan on opening a chain of slow-food restaurants. *banging on table* I'VE BEEN HERE SINCE YESTERDAY.

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