Oh Hai There, Tough Guy: $50 Padded Muscle Shirts

October 24, 2013

funkybod-shirts.jpg

Because eating right and exercise are for people with self-discipline and a lot of guys aren't into that shit, Funkybod is selling these fake muscle tops to wear under another shirt and make you appear more muscular than you actually are. Unfortunately, they only work when you have the shirt on, so if you're lucky enough to bring a girl home, make sure to take your shirt off in the dark and DO NOT let her rub up on your man tits.

The Funkybod undershirt is designed to enhance your natural physique. Because of the way it is designed, there is a marked improvement in the look if the wearer has the typical visual manboob issues when wearing a shirt. This was not the intended market for the Funkybod muscle top. Initially, it was designed to enhance the upper body muscle groups of skinny to medium build men. After initial trials we found that some of the smaller men had manboob issues which were covered well with the Funkybod muscle top. This led us to experiment with larger men and look into the manboob issue further.


Features of the Funkybod muscle top:

Chest plates giving a pumped look.
Shoulder plates to give a broader look.
Bicep plates giving bigger biceps.
Tricep plates giving bigger triceps.
Feels realistic to the touch.

I mean, sure, there are dudes out there with manboobs who don't feel like working out that will buy these. But what about a physique issue that CAN'T be cured with exercise? I'm talking about a penis so small it looks like you don't even have one. Obviously, it's not a problem that I have. I still have to wear the widest legged JNCO jeans they sold in the 90's just to conceal the outline of my pecker. The last time I went to the beach? A tsunami.

Keep going for a BBC news report.

Thanks to BRICK, Michelle and landon, who agree that "feels realistic" sounds like a pretty bold claim for a $50 fake muscle shirt.

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