I'm Tired Of Wondering Why: Non-Alcoholic Wine For Cats

October 18, 2013


Japanese pet supplement company B&H Life has just introduced Nyan Nyan Neoveau, a $4 bottle of hootch brewed specifically for cats. Don't worry about lil Skippers getting drunk and puking in your shoes again though, because the wine is non-alcoholic and "made from Cabernet grapes, Vitamin C as well as catnip." Can cats even eat grapes? Do they like the taste? I guess they'll go after anything with catnip in it, I just feel like if cats had their way they'd be absinthe drinkers -- it's just their personality. Dammit Vincent Van Joe, put down the scissors, you're not cutting your ear off to send to that tabby across the street. "Meow." I know you think you love her, but she's wrong for you. "Meow meow." Dammit Vince, I saw her banging a stray when I went to get the paper this morning. "Meow." There, there, champ, I know it hurts. Tell you what, I'll pick up a can of Fancy Feast on my way home from work today and we'll watch Animal Planet tonight. "Meow." You're my best friend too.

Thanks to Lizzy and E V I L A R E S, who agree the last thing you need is some cat wine snob in the house.

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